


Never Expected It To Be You

by amaziinggracee



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Best Friends, College, Cutesy, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, High School, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Opposites Attract, Original Character(s), Past Drug Use, Relationship(s), Romance, Smoking, Teenagers, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2018-11-03 13:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10968096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaziinggracee/pseuds/amaziinggracee
Summary: Beckett's a hard-ass who works in a quaint, hipster coffee shoppe. Atticus is a laid-back, actual ray of sunshine who fixes technology all day. When Beckett accidentally drops his phone in the snow the two meet and Beckett can't decide if he wants to kiss Atticus or punch him in the teeth. Maybe both.





	1. Monday, January 2nd

Beckett hastily pulled the lighter from his pocket and quickly brought it to life, the yellow flame reflecting against the powdery-white sidewalk. He moved it to his cigarette and placed his left hand back in his pocket once it was lit. He let out a shiver and felt his teeth clatter together as he pulled his jacket tighter, cursing to himself that he didn't wear a heavier one like his friend had suggested. He really should listen to Liam more often. For all the shit Beckett gives him, he does seem to be one of few people who still has a head on their shoulders.

 

He felt the smoke enter his lungs and he closed his eyes, not caring about how much soot covered his insides from his pack-a-day addiction. Once the cigarette was burned to the butt, Beckett dropped it to the ground and squished it around under his boot. He rubbed his hands together in an attempt to bring some feeling back before making his way inside the coffee shop.

 

"Beckett, finally decided to show up did ya?"

 

Zen's voice echoed behind Beckett, but he ignored it and continued his walk to the staff room.

 

"Everything ok princess?"

 

Beckett rolled his eyes and shook out his damp jacket before placing it on the hook with his name above it. He always thought it was a bit childish to have the same labels that primary school teachers use, (his name was on a space themed name tag, written with the nicest handwriting, cursive of course) but to be honest there's probably not much difference between the bickering Zen and him share and the ones between the kids who still think it's funny to shove crayons up their nose. And he's learned by now that basically whatever Ginny wants, she gets. Ginny is one of Beckett' best friends, and happens to be the one in charge of this whole coffee shop shindig. She's basically the main reason for Beckett not being jobless/homeless currently.

 

"Peachy." Was all Beckett replied to Zen as he grabbed his apron and took off his beanie. "Just...peachy."

 

***

 

"I need an order number 3, diet mocha latte no crème, Ze-"

 

"Oh my gosh, Beck!"

 

Beckett appeared behind the counter just as the shoppe was reaching its busiest point in the day. Ginny had the sleeves of her white, long sleeve button up rolled to her elbows and her dark, curly hair had already begun to disperse from the bobby pins securing it to her hat. The smile on her flour smeared face grew as she wiped her hands on her apron and scurried over to where Beckett was standing, smiling fondly. Even without makeup, and as sweat trickled down her forehead, Ginny was still one of the most beautiful girls Beckett had ever seen. Her face was heart shaped, which fit her so well, and her eyes were a shade of brown so pure it seemed like caramel was poured right into them. She used to complain to Beckett about the size of her nose, but he always thought it was perfect. He'd reassure Ginny that everything about her was perfect, especially her bright smile and the way it drooped a bit lopsided after she'd had one too many drinks. Even her so-called "imperfections" were perfect- her frizzy hair that she styled into an afro, and the freckles that were sprinkled across her dark skin by her eyes and chin, the ones her mom used to tell her were marks left by fairy kisses when she was little. Beckett adored everything about Ginny, inside her small, loving frame, and out.

 

"It's so good to see you! How was your Christmas? Your gift was so sweet, how did you know I didn't have that game yet? Sorry I didn't give you a call back, it was super busy with my aunt being in town and all. I kept thinking about it but-"

 

Beckett interrupted her by pulling her into a tight hug, squeezing her until she hit him on the back for mercy. He let go and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling as he melted into her eyes

 

"No worries Gin, I only called you to be polite anyway, not like I wanted to get together and go ice skating or anything..."

 

Ginny blushed. "Well good thing I would be shit at ice skating, so I didn't miss out on much."

 

"I could teach you sometime you know."

 

She laughed "As if, I've seen you on the ice, you're no Kristi Yamaguchi."

 

Beckett made a face, "I'm not even going to pretend I know who that is."

 

Ginny rolled her eyes as if Beckett was living under a rock.

 

"She won the gold medal for Ice Skating in 1992?"

 

Beckett shrugged.

 

"You're impossible." Ginny sighed.

 

A burly man behind the counter let out a sigh as well, "I don't mean to be interrupting your flirting but I ordered my drink 10 minutes ago!"

 

Ginny blushed and pulled away from Beckett' grip on her shoulders. "Yes, sorry sir!"

 

Beckett made his way up to the counter and offered his best mock smile to the snooty looking woman in line.

 

"Hello miss, how can I help you?"

 

The woman clicked her tongue and directed her eyes to the menu above Beckett.

 

"Where's your fat free options?"

 

Beckett held his smile.

 

"I'm terribly sorry miss, but we actually don't have any yet, we just had a vegan menu put in though, did you miss that one?"

 

She gave him a sideways glare before shaking her head.

 

"As a matter of fact I didn't...sir. I just asked a simple question, there's no need to get snotty."

 

Just as Beckett was about to explain to the woman what the word snotty meant, Ginny came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

"I'm sorry miss, Beckett here seems to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed."

 

Beckett raised an eyebrow but Ginny pushed him aside.

 

"What can I get for you today?"

 

The woman stuck up her nose and proceeded to tell Ginny her order, and of course Ginny prepared it and delivered it to her table with a smile, she was always smiling it seemed.

 

"Everything ok today Beckett?"

 

Beckett set the creamer he was previously using down and rolled his eyes.

 

"Why is everyone asking me that today? Yes, I'm fine."

 

Ginny gave him a knowing look, but then shrugged and made her way back to the counter.

 

***

 

The day went by slow for Beckett. There's some days where it feels like he's made one cappuccino and work's over, but then there's other days, like today, where it feels like you make 500 and you're only halfway done.

 

As he hung up his apron and grabbed his beanie, Zen appeared again.

 

"Didn't get the pleasure of seeing you much today." Zen teased.

 

Beckett faked a smile, "Yeah, Ginny had me in the house today, ya know, making the drinks."

 

Zen pulled on his leather jacket and zipped it about halfway before putting on his own hat and gloves.

 

"Alright, alright, no need to get sassy. Only teasing."

 

Beckett could feel that Zen's eyes were still lingering on him and he shifted uncomfortably as he pulled on his own gloves.

 

"Why're you just staring at me?"

 

He could tell his tone was sharp but he didn't care, he despised Zen and honestly, he couldn't believe he even was speaking to him in the first place.

 

Zen swung his head the other direction and shrugged, "Just wondering how you're not freezing only wearing that."

 

Beckett scoffed, "You're wearing a bloody t-shirt with a shit leather jacket on top and you're asking me?"

 

"I'm not a little bitch when it comes to the cold; I know you are." Zen retorted, edging his hands into his pockets.

 

Beckett considered lashing out at Zen right then and there, leaving a bloodbath in the coffee shoppe like some murder mystery shit, but decided against it for the sake of his job.

 

Instead, he pulled out his headphones and plugged them into his phone, a calm expression on his face.

 

"Can you just like, completely piss off for once in your life?"

 

The raven haired boy chuckled and moved to the door, "Just don't get hypothermia alright?"

 

Beckett smiled as wide as he could and nodded his head, "I'll try, and you-  _please_ get every type of bodily harm possible on your way home."

 

 After an unhappy hand gesture from Zen, Beckett was alone.

 

He glanced down at his outfit. A black sweatshirt with a jean jacket on top, black jeans, and white vans. Plain and constant, just like Beckett wanted. Sure it wasn't the warmest in the snow, but did he _really_ want to give in and put on a winter coat? Of course not, he was never one to give in, and mother nature being a bitch surely wasn't going to change that. It wasn't some sort of manhood test like it was for Zen, Beckett just didn't care. His appearance in general never really mattered to him. Of course he'd shower and take care of his hygiene, and he'd always style his hair in his usual swoop, but other than that it was a free-for-all. He liked to match at least, but with a wardrobe that consisted of mainly hoodies, jeans, and Adidas t-shirts, that wasn't necessarily hard. Especially in the winter when he could just throw his old, distressed jean jacket on top. The fur on the collar was slightly matted and more creme than white after years of wear, but he refused to let it go. When a bully ripped it off of him and threw it in a mud puddle one day after school when he was 11, he picked it up with tears streaming down his face and put it right back on. It hung heavy on his small frame as he walked home, and smelt absolutely putrid, but he clutched it closer than ever before. 

 

When he came back from the far-away memory, Beckett's face fell into a grimace, and he quickly put in his headphones and headed out the door. But as he got farther down the street, his jacket felt warm under his touch, and a small smile crawled in.


	2. Friday, January 6th

"Beckett! I need you to take over the register, I have to train someone today. Call for Zen if you need him. Or Lucas. Heather's out."

 

Beckett nodded and made his way to the counter. He eyed the terrified trainee next to Ginny and offered a smile, she smiled back, horror clear in her eyes.

 

***

 

"Coming up!"

 

It was halfway through the day now, 12:14 to be exact, and Beckett was prepared to call Zen for some lunch rush help.

 

"One moment miss, I'll be with you shortly." Beckett shouted from the espresso machine.

 

Once he handed the previous man his cup with a smile and a thank you, he hopped back over to the counter.

 

"Sorry for the w-"

 

Beckett stopped as he looked up.

 

Standing in front of him was no miss. It was a sir, a sir with chocolate brown curls that fell a little past his ears and who's green eyes actually sparkled in the light. All of this and his unfaltering toothy smile made him look like a small child, waiting patiently for a new toy or a piece of candy.

 

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to call you miss, I was over there and I looked up really quick and I just saw the hair and I- not that your hair looks girly or anything, I just-"

 

The boy lifted his hand to stop Beckett.

 

"It's alright, happens more than you'd think."

 

The boy continued to hold his smile and Beckett either wanted to punch him in his perfect face until all his perfect teeth fell out, or kiss him on his perfect lips while his perfect tongue meets Beckett's.

 

"Right, well, sorry again, sir, what can I get you?"

 

Beckett was silently judging him, as he does to all his customers of course, and predicted that A) he's definitely going to order off the vegan menu with a body like that, he just looks like a vegan, B) if people mistake him for a woman often maybe it's time to cut his hair, and C) he's really, REALLY pretty.

 

"I'll have the vegan skinny latte please."

 

Beckett checked off A on his list as correct, and C too since that's obviously correct as well.

 

"Coming right up."

 

Beckett headed back into the bakery and yelled for Zen's help with the house, while he prepared pretty boys "rich people latte".

 

Once finished, it may have taken Beckett longer than normal for good measure, he brought it to the boy.

 

"Thanks Beckett." the boy smiled.

 

Beckett was taken off guard.

 

The boy noted his confusion, "Your name tag. Are you not Beckett?"

 

Duh.

 

"Oh yeah, yeah I am. Sorry."

 

Beckett mentally smacked himself.

 

 The boy smiled again.

 

"No problem, nice to meet you Beckett, I'm Atticus."

 

He extended his hand for Beckett to shake.

 

Beckett was still confused, he's not usually on a first name basis with customers unless they stay in the house and he has to scribble their name on a plastic cup, but even still, they don't usually have a heart to heart introduction.

 

Once the awkward handshake was finished, Beckett pulled away quickly and gave his best half smile.

 

"OK well, see you later Beckett."

 

"Yeah, uh, bye...Atticus?"

 

Atticus gave a wave before pushing open the heavy door and joining the swarm of people on the street.

 

"I gotta head back in the kitchen OK?"

 

Zen's voice startled Beckett and he slipped on a puddle of water sending the cup he was holding sailing.

 

Zen quickly reached down and caught Beckett under his armpits before he smashed his head on the concrete, the cup however had another fate, and landed on the ground with a thud, sending coffee everywhere.

 

***

 

By the time Zen had finished cleaning everything up it was five minutes from closing time and Beckett was helping the last few customers.

 

Once the final one left, Beckett made his way to the front door and turned the sign to closed, letting out a large breath as the word "OPEN" faced him.

 

"So what was up with that curly kid? You know him?"

 

Beckett groaned, as he does whenever Zen talks to him.

 

"No I don't know him, he was weird and introduced himself though, so I guess I know him now."

 

Zen tilted his head, "I think that's more charming than weird; it's cool to find someone so genuinely kind."

 

Beckett pretended to gag, "Go write your romance novel somewhere else lover boy."

 

Zen rolled his eyes, "You know if you keep living your life in the dumps..."

 

"My life is just fine thank you very much." Beckett snapped. "I don't need your inspirational advice."

 

Zen raised his arms in defense, "Whoa dude, I wasn't trying to trigger your inner brat, I was just saying."

 

Beckett glared at him, "You wonder why I don't talk to you."

 

Zen smiled, "You are right now.”

 

Beckett rolled his eyes and made his way behind the counter.

 

"So, d'ya get his number?"

 

Beckett set the bucket he had grabbed from underneath the counter on the floor and looked up at Zen.

 

"What? No, he just said his name."

 

Beckett dunked the mop in the soapy-water filled bucket, took it out, and began to drag it across the floor.

 

"Which was?" Zen asked, not looking up from where he was wiping down the counters.

 

Beckett focused on the strokes of the mop. "I don't remember." he lied.

 

"Yes you do." Zen persisted.

 

Beckett debated on whether or not to admit he memorized not only Atticus's name but his perfectly chiseled face as well.

 

"Atticus."

 

Though Beckett had his back to him, he could feel Zen's smirk.

 

"Aw, that's cute."

 

"Isn't that like pedophilia?" Beckett joked, "He looked like he was in high school."

 

Zen shrugged, "I was 18 in high school, you're no longer considered a child then."

 

Beckett rolled his eyes, "Just because you got held back doesn't mean everyone did, most people graduate when they're 17. But you have fun in prison if you wanna go chase after that kid."

 

Seconds after that comment Beckett felt a thwack on the back of his head. Water dripped down his neck and he reached behind him, grabbing the dirty washcloth that Zen had thrown at him and preparing to return the favor. Beckett leaned down and dunked the cloth is his mop bucket before rolling it up into a ball and sending it sailing towards Zen's head.

 

Lucky for Zen he had time to duck, but unlucky for both of them, Ginny decided to appear just at that time and the dirty washcloth hit her square in the face. Beckett brought his hands to his mouth to muffle his laugh as Ginny squealed and peeled it off quickly, gagging as she held it between her thumb and pointer finger.

 

"Beckett!!"

 

Ginny threw the washcloth on the counter and stomped toward Beckett, Zen stepped out of her way.

 

“What’s wrong with you?!"

 

Her face was dripping with dirty crumb filled water and Beckett couldn't help but smile. She was so cute when she was mad.

 

"I really didn't mean to hit you Gin, it was supposed to hit Zen."

 

Ginny threw her hands in the air, "And that's supposed to be any better?! I'm trying to show Lauren everything she needs to know; I come in here telling her all about how hard you two work, and this is what she sees?! She needs good influences and role models for this job, Beckett, I was hoping that could be you."

 

Ginny looked disappointed in Beckett.

 

"Look, babe, it's not the worst thing I've done right? Remember when Zen and I broke the

espresso machine by putting detergent in it to try and clean it faster? That was worse than this right?"

 

Ginny covered her face with her hands and lowered her voice to a whisper.

 

"Beckett, her dad is the owner of this building, and the one next to this, and the one next to that. This is really important right now, and you're not helping."

 

Tears brimmed in her eyes and Beckett felt like absolute shit, especially now that he's pretty much admitted he's done worse things than what Lauren saw.

 

Ginny wiped at her eyes and turned away from Beckett.

 

"Lauren, this is Beckett. He's usually a decent employee."

 

Lauren smiled slightly.

 

Beckett ignored the fact that Ginny called him "decent" and not "great" or "stupendous", but he probably deserves a little less than decent right now.

 

"Hi Lauren, welcome to the family." Beckett smiled and stepped to the side to shake Lauren's hand.

 

She took his hand in hers and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

"Hi, thank you."

 

Beckett released her hand and nodded toward Ginny.

 

"This woman right here is the best boss you'll probably ever have. She's determined, extremely smart and kind, and always knows how to fix a situation. As you can see, I can cause some trouble, sometimes more than others."

 

Beckett looked past Lauren at Zen, who winked, then looked back to Lauren.

 

"And if it weren't for Ginny and her excellent training and guidance, I would most likely be jobless right now and probably not working at a sick coffee shoppe like this one."

 

Beckett noticed as Lauren glanced from one side of the room to the other. Sure the old shoppe wouldn't blow anyone away with fancy looks, but it had a charm that he would defend till the day he died. Ginny worked closely with the man who bought the building, Lauren's dad, to help refurbish the old warehouse it started as, into a quaint coffee shoppe that oozed warmth and love. Lauren's eyes scanned from the all brick wall littered with chalkboard menus and endless shelves of jars and cans, to the row of wood tables pushed against the windows with metal chairs that make a wretched noise when they scrape against the dull wood floor. Scattered in the middle of the shoppe were larger wood tables with matching wooden benches, and towards the back were a few stained booths with hand-sewn red coverings. The whole shoppe had a rustic, industrial style aesthetic, and Beckett could drool over it. The counter was his favorite part though, that was his space. While Lauren's eyes bounced around trying to take everything in, Beckett smiled to himself. There may have been a handful of people employed there, but Beckett still felt that area belonged to him. Lucas spent most of his time in the break room anyway, sleeping on the couch curled up with a blanket, Zen worked the bakery, and Heather liked to hand deliver the drinks to tables when she worked, so she buzzed all over the place. Everything had its own place, and he was allowed to decorate it how he wanted-pros of being good friends with the manager.

 

Ginny turned to the side to look at Beckett, smiling.

 

Beckett held his attention on Lauren, "So, have you met the others yet?"

 

She shook her head no and Beckett stepped to her side, placed his hand on her back, and walked them in Zen's direction.

 

***

 

"You are quite the suck up aren't you Matthews?"

 

Beckett smiled into the receiver of his phone and searched his pockets for his keys.

 

"Kind of mastered it by now, part of the only reason I made it through school."

 

Ginny laughed, "Seriously though, did you mean what you said?"

 

Beckett fumbled with his keys in his one free hand until he found the one for the main door.

 

"Of course, every w-kdpfshwbxla aw fuck me! Bloody hell what in the cock, son of a bitch!"

 

Ginny pulled the phone away from her face and stared at the icon of a drunk Beckett on new years with a lampshade on his head, then placed the phone back against her cheek.

 

"Sorry?"

 

"Hey, Ginny? G-in-ny-? Ar-e you t-h-ere? Can y-ou he-a-r me?"

 

"Beckett? You're breaking up really bad? Everything good?"

 

Beckett cursed to himself and shoved his snow-covered phone in his pocket, not even bothering to hang up.

 

He unlocked the door and scrambled inside the building, hurrying down the hall to his apartment into the kitchen to look for some rice. When all his cabinets had been rummaged through, Beckett fell to a heap on the floor. Maybe Liam will have some, let's call him and ask. Oh, wait. Beckett banged his head against the cupboard behind him a few times before pulling himself up to stand. He'll just have to go see for himself.

 

***

 

"Beckett?"

 

"No, it's your grandma, open up I’ve got cookies- yes you idiot it's me."

 

Beckett pushed Liam aside and stomped to the kitchen.

 

"Any particular reason you decided to come up here?"

 

Beckett bent down to dig through Liam's cupboards.

 

"I need rice."

 

Liam closed his door quietly and walked over to the doorway of the kitchen, leaning against the frame.

 

"The store closed?"

 

Beckett rolled his eyes into the shelves of pots and pans and moved onto the next cupboard.

 

"I needed it sooner than that."

 

Liam raised an eyebrow.

 

"I know I've had some food cravings but never enough to break into someone's flat and demand it from them."

 

Beckett stood up and faced Liam.

 

"First of all, I didn't break in, you let me in."

 

Liam threw his hands up, "Because you were pounding so Loud the entire building could hear it!"

 

Beckett held on a finger to shush Liam.

 

"Second of all, I didn't demand anything, I'm looking myself."

 

Beckett turned back and moved onto checking the cabinets.

 

"Not like that's much better..." Liam mumbled to himself. "You never told me what you needed the rice for anyway. Are you gonna eat it or...?"

 

Beckett reached into his pocket and pulled out his soggy iPhone for Liam to see.

 

"Oh, yeah that doesn't look so good. The rice is in that one."

 

Liam pointed to the last cabinet and Beckett glared at him.

 

"You couldn't have told me that as soon as I got in here?"

 

Liam shrugged, "You said you wanted to find it yourself."

 

Beckett grabbed the rice down and ripped it open. He pulled out his phone again and dumped it in the bag, shaking it around until it was completely covered with the little grains.

 

Beckett turned to Liam.

 

"Mind if I keep this?"

 

Liam shook his head, "Whatever Beck."

 

Beckett smiled and kissed Liam on the cheek before running out of his flat.

 

"That's disgusting you asshole!"


	3. Saturday, January 7th

Beckett opened his eyes slowly, the shrill beep of his alarm clock blared in his ears.

 

With a loud groan, Beckett rolled himself over and reached out blindly to try and find the snooze button.

 

After a few more beeps and no avail to finding the button, Beckett picked up the pillow next to him and smashed the clock off his nightstand. The beeping stopped.

 

Beckett smiled to himself and hummed, “Five more minutes.”

 

***

 

A while later, Beckett was woken up by a knock at his door.

 

He pulled the duvet closer to his freezing body and cuddled up, forgetting about the disturbance.

 

Until it came again, harder that time.

 

Beckett kicked off his blanket and jumped out of bed, mumbling a string of curses, somewhat close to: “Stupid cock sucking piece of shit waking me up so early who do they think they are, better be the fuckin queen herself at this fuckin hour god dammit.”, as he made his way out of his room and to the front door.

 

With a loud bang Beckett unlocked his door and swung it open.

 

A smiling Liam was standing there waiting, freshly washed, dark jeans hung on his legs, a grey Abercrombie sweatshirt clung to his torso, his muscles were protruding, even through the thick fabric of the insulated jumper, and his hair was up in a nice quiff as always.

 

Beckett looked him up and down, “I hate you, you know that right?”

 

Liam beamed, but his smile faltered slightly when he took in Beckett’s disheveled appearance.

 

“Hey, you alright?”

 

Beckett growled, “Not really when you decide to come and wake me up at 5 am!! What are you even doing here all dressed up? Are you crazy or something!?”

 

Liam looked confused, “Beckett, it’s 9.”

 

Beckett scrunched his nose, “What? No it’s not, my alarm clock says 5!”

 

Liam sighed, “Beck, did you break your alarm clock?”

 

Beckett’s face grew red, “No! I mean, it fell off my nightstand, but it should be fine.”

 

Liam dragged his tongue across the front of his teeth, “It just…fell?”

 

“Yeah, it fell.”

 

“Beckett.”

 

“What?”

 

“You know I know you’re lying, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Did you break your alarm clock?”

 

“I hope not.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“I knocked it over with a pillow.”

 

“A pillow?”

 

“Yes a pillow! Can we be done with this interview now!”

 

Liam shook his head, “I’m not buying you a new alarm clock, not again.”

 

Beckett nodded, “Yeah yeah, so what are you doing here anyway?”

 

Liam sighed once more, “Beckett, go check your phone.”

 

Beckett furrowed his brow, “My phone? My phone’s buste- OH!”

 

Beckett’s eyes grew wide, “Oh, oh shit! I forgot I took Lucas’s shift! I’m supposed to be there by 10! Shit, what time is it now?!”

 

Liam clicked his phone to life, “8:57”

 

“Shit, shit, shit! Why didn’t you come earlier!!”

 

Liam scoffed, “Don’t try to push this on me, you were supposed to come up at 8! I figured you were running late and still getting ready around 8:30, but then as it got closer to 9 I decided I should probably see what was taking so long. It’s your own fault you sleep like a sloth.”

 

“Shut up and get in here”, Beckett shouted as he grabbed Liam by his sweatshirt strings and pulled him in his apartment.

 

“I’m gonna shower real quick and then I’ll be out, you can watch tv or something while you wait.”

 

Liam made his way to Beckett’s brown leather couch and plopped himself down, reaching for the remote, “Don’t forget to get dressed somewhere in there.”

 

Beckett slammed the bathroom door and Liam laughed, flicking through the channels.

***

“Ok, this is the place right?”

 

Liam put his car in park and looked over at Beckett in the passenger seat, waiting for an answer.

 

“Becks? You ok?”

 

Beckett looked up from the bag of rice he was holding in his lap and over to Liam.

 

“Do I look like an idiot?”

 

Liam bit his lip to hold back a smile, “No, of course not.”

 

Beckett glared at him, “You’re a dick.”

 

Liam sighed, “No for real, this kind of stuff happens all the time, don’t even worry about it. Plus, you’ll probably never see the guy working here again, so there’s no point being embarrassed. He just wants money, he could care less what happened to your phone.”

 

Beckett smiled at Liam and nodded, “True, thanks.”

 

Liam smiled back, “No problem. Um, do you want me to go in with you or just wait here?”

 

Beckett laughed, “I’ll have you wait here, I don’t need anymore cringe joining me.”

 

Liam pouted, “You saying I’m cringey?”

 

Beckett bubbled with laughter, “No, I’m saying I don’t need you trailing behind me like my dad.”

 

Liam turned away, “Whatever, just go.”

 

Beckett grew concerned that he actually hurt Liam’s feeling, “Hey I was just-”

 

“Go or I’ll tell your mother you were misbehaving!”

 

Beckett laughed and stuck out his tongue, “You don’t know me dad! It’s not a phase!”

 

Liam grinned and pushed Beckett out of the car, “Get inside already geez, you only have thirty minutes now.”

 

Beckett nodded and hurried up to the door of the phone repair center.

 

Before Beckett had gone inside Liam quickly rolled down his window and shouted, “Hey Beck!”

 

Beckett turned around, fingers wrapped around the door handle, “Yeah?”

 

Liam looked at the bag of rice Beckett was holding, not even just a plastic baggie filled with some, but an actual full bag he just ripped open, and smiled.

 

“Nevermind.”

 

Beckett rolled his eyes and went into the store.

 

***

 

“Oh, hi Beckett.”

 

Beckett looked up from the bowl of random iphone cases he was fishing through and gulped.

 

“Hi...Atticus.”

 

“Wow you remembered my name, or was it the name tag?” Atticus laughed.

 

“No, I-I remembered.”

 

“Oh, cool.” Atticus smiled, “Well, what can I help you with today miss?”

 

Beckett looked confused.

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying full attention I guess, I just saw your hair”, Atticus gestured to Beckett’s head, “And I just thought- not that your hair is girly or anything...”

 

Atticus smirked and Beckett could feel every inch of his body go up in flames.

 

“So sorry again, what can I help you with today, sir?”

 

Beckett rubbed the back of his neck, “Heh, yeah, um, sorry about that, again?”

 

Atticus laughed, “I’m just joking around, that didn’t bother me.”

 

Beckett cleared his throat and mumbled, “Well it obviously did if you can remember it word for word…”

 

Atticus licked his bottom lip and smiled, “Nah, it just made me laugh.”

 

Beckett smiled slightly, “Glad I could be a laughing stock for you I guess.”

 

Atticus giggled, “Oh and, I’ve never been called ‘miss’ because of my hair before, you were the first.”

 

Beckett gasped, “But you said-!”

 

Atticus stopped him, “I didn’t want to make you feel worse or anything”, he laughed, “You seemed stressed out enough.”

 

It was Beckett’s turn to laugh, “Gee aren’t you thoughtful.”

 

Atticus’s teeth sparkled as they flashed from behind his plump lips, “Always.”

 

Beckett rolled his eyes playfully and Atticus continued, “Alright, so what’s up?”

 

“Um, nothing much, what about-”

 

“I meant with the bag of rice you're holding Beckett, did you drop your phone in water?”

 

Beckett could feel his cheeks go red again, ‘Oh yeah, the whole reason he came in here, duh’, he thought to himself.

 

“Um, close, snow. I was talking on the phone to my friend and it just kinda slipped out of my hand.”

 

Atticus nodded, “Alright, can I see the bag please?”

 

Beckett handed it over the counter to Atticus, shame clear on his features.

 

Atticus looked up from the bag to Beckett, and as if he could read minds said, “This kind of thing happens all the time, no worries, let me just look at it for a second yeah?”

 

Beckett nodded and watched Atticus’s movements carefully.

 

Analyzed the way his fingers wrapped around the entire phone so easily, the way he examined every inch of the device with such carefulness.

 

“Do you happen to have the charger with you?”

 

Beckett was taken out of his trance, “Uh, no, no I don’t, sorry.”

 

“It’s alright, I’ve got one right down here.”

 

Beckett could hear Atticus’s knees crack as he squatted down behind the counter to slide open a glass case.

 

He returned moments later with a long white cord and plugged one end into an outlet in the wall and the other into Beckett’s poor phone.

 

“Let’s see if he comes to life.”

 

Beckett waited anxiously to see what would happen.

 

Nothing.

 

“Hm”, Atticus mumbled.

 

Beckett looked up at the clock above Atticus’s head and his eyes grew wide. “Oh shit, I gotta go!”

 

The hands on the clock pointed to 9:58.

 

“Thank you for the help, erm, and the humiliation, but I have to go, I’m late for work.”

 

Atticus tilted his head, “I’ve never seen you at the coffee shop on a Saturday.”

 

Beckett glanced at the clock once more.

 

9:59

 

“Yeah I’m picking up someone’s shift for them while they’re out of town.”

 

9:59

 

“Can I have my phone back please, I really have to go.”

 

10:00

 

“I can try and work on it for you while you’re at work and then maybe bring it by later when it’s done, what time do you finish your shift?

 

10:01

 

“Yeah sure that’d be great. Uh, I finish at 5:30.”

 

Atticus nodded, “Alright cool, it should be done by then, if I can fix it that is.”

 

Just then a bell clinged behind them and Beckett turned around.

 

“Beckett, are you coming? You’re late!”

 

Liam stood in the doorway and beckoned for Beckett to hurry.

 

“Yeah, shit, sorry.”

 

Liam hurried back outside to the car and Beckett rushed after him.

 

Before exiting the store he shouted over his shoulder to Atticus, “Thank you miss!”

 

***

 

Beckett glanced up at the clock as he reached behind himself and untied his apron.

 

5:30

 

He sighed happily- finally done.

 

As Beckett was hanging his apron on his hook he heard the bell on the front door.

 

“God dammit Zen I ask you to do one thing”, Beckett muttered to himself as he made his way to the house from the back room.

 

“I’m sorry but we’re actually closed right now, if you come back around 7-”

 

“Hey Beckett, I asked your friend to leave the door open.”

 

Atticus reached one hand out of his pocket to wave at Zen in the back.

 

Louis turned around and saw Zen smile and wave in return.

 

Beckett turned back to Atticus. He looked much different without his dark blue “DiscWorld” polo and loose khakis on. He must have walked here- his hair was still shiny with water droplets.

 

“Hey…Atticus.” Beckett smiled awkwardly.

 

Atticus returned the smile.

 

Beckett watched as the other boy moved his hand to reach into the pocket of his leather jacket.

 

“Here ya go”, Atticus placed the phone he had pulled out of his pocket into Beckett’s hand, “Lucky for you I’m kind of a pro at my job.”

 

Beckett’s eyes grew wide, “You fixed it?” His voice was full of disbelief.

 

Atticus smiled and looked down at the counter, “It wasn’t that hard really.”

 

Pretty, smart, AND modest? This boy was tearing Beckett apart, and he didn’t even know his last name.

 

“Well, I definitely couldn’t have done it. Thank you so much, I don’t know what I would have done without this thing. What do I owe you?”

 

Beckett dug through the front pocket on his apron and pulled out some crumpled up bills, trying his best to smooth them out over the edge of the counter.

 

Atticus raised an eyebrow in amusement, “No worries Beck, it’s on the house.”

 

Beckett stopped his bill ironing and turned to face the other boy, “You’re kidding me, right?”

 

Atticus shook his head and smiled, “Nope, keep it. It looks better as origami anyway.”

 

Beckett looked down at the mess of bills on the counter and his cheeks flushed.

 

“I have to pay you, you saved my ass.” Beckett said, not meeting Atticus’ eyes.

 

“Buy me a coffee then, same thing I ordered the other day.”

 

Beckett scoffed, “That’s nowhere near what I owe you.”

 

Atticus shrugged, “Alright, $175 for the rewiring and complete double screen replacement.”

 

Beckett’s mouth dropped, and after a second he cleared his throat.

 

“Alright vegan skinny latte it is then!”

 

Atticus let out a giggle and Beckett almost tripped over his own two feet from endearment.

 

***

 

When Beckett brought back the to-go cup, Atticus’ face fell slightly.

 

“What? Did you want whipped cream? I figured since you were vegan you didn’t like-“

 

Atticus shook his head, “No, no, it’s not that, I’m sure the drink tastes great.”

 

Beckett felt small bits of pride pulse through him.

 

“It’s just”, Atticus continued, “It’s in a to-go cup.”

 

Beckett furrowed his brows, and with slight hostility said, “Uh, yeah, did you want me to pour it in your hands?”

 

Atticus opened his mouth but decided against it. Instead he leaned onto the counter, resting on his forearms and interlocking his fingers.

 

“Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to sit down with me for a while, maybe chat it up.”

 

Beckett blinked.

 

“But”, Atticus reached out and grabbed the cup from Beckett, “I see you’re rather busy. Thanks for the drink Becky.”

 

Beckett was frozen as Atticus turned to walk away; he could only watch as he combed his fingers through his thick, dark curls.

 

Realizing what had happened, he scrambled out the door after him and hurried down the pavement to apologize.

 

“Atticus! Atticus wait!”

 

Beckett hadn’t noticed it was sleeting at such an intensity until his white converse were sloshing with every step.

 

He folded his arms across his chest for warmth, after also realizing he didn’t grab his jacket before he left.

 

Water droplets dripped off his fringe and rolled down his cheeks.

 

 _“Where could he have gone? He left just 30 seconds before I did..”_ Beckett thought to himself.

 

As the drenched boy was about to give up and sulk back to the coffee shop, he spotted something in an alleyway across the street.

 

Two legs sticking out from behind a large garbage bin, two legs that seemed strangely familiar for just being a pair of legs.

 

Beckett scurried across the road, careful to avoid puddles, and cautiously made his way into the alley.

 

As he approached the bin, the person began coughing violently, causing Beckett to jump and slip onto his back.

 

His heart was beating a mile a minute and he cursed under his breath, but quickly stood back up and went around the bin.

 

“Oh my god!”

 

Beckett dropped to his knees and placed his hands on the person’s shoulders.

 

“Atticus! Atticus come on!”

 

Beckett felt panic rush over him; bile rose in the back of his throat.

 

“Atticus come on get up!”, Beckett shook the boy harder.

 

No response.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god”, were the only words Beckett could string together.

 

His hands shook as he searched his pockets for his phone, until he remembered he set it down on the counter after Atticus had given it to him.

 

“Shit, shit shit!”

 

Beckett grabbed Atticus’ hand and squeezed it between his own, his fingers were ice cold.

 

He dropped it instantly and instead moved to Atticus’ pockets, desperate to find his phone.

 

“Dead Atticus are you fucking kidding me? You’re a fucking tech nerd for a living and your phone is dead!”

 

Beckett began to feel lightheaded, he reached out to brick wall behind Atticus for support.

 

Slowly he pulled himself to a stance and managed to reconfigure his balance. He then bent back down and attempted to lift Atticus over his shoulder fireman style, which didn’t work considering the solid 4-inch height difference between them.

 

“Ok, Atticus, you wait right here, I’m going to go get Zen, he’s stronger and taller than I am and can carry you back to the cafe, alright?”

 

Beckett stood back up and then quickly untied his apron and peeled off his sweater, placing them on Atticus’ lap and head.

 

“Don’t really know what that will do but I’m kind of having a mental breakdown here”, he mumbled as he readjusted the falling sleeves.

 

After saying another reassurance to Atticus, Beckett sprinted down the street.

 

***

The slam of the front door made Zen yelp and lose the grip on his phone, sending it crashing to the tile floor.

 

Zen gasped and quickly bent down to pick it back up, turning it over slowly and praying for a clean screen.

 

“Beckett I swear to god if this is cracked I’m going to-“

 

“Zen come on I need you right now let’s go!” Beckett’s voice was shaky as he tried to take a step closer to the crouched boy.

 

After religiously checking his phone for any signs of malfunction, Zen turned towards Beckett.

 

“Oh my god Beckett where the fuck is your shirt?” Zen asked, confusion and slight disgust apparent in his voice.

 

“Outside. Alley. Dumpser. I found-“

 

Beckett’s entire body was shaking; his chest heaving to steady his breath.

 

“Whoa, whoa, Beck- take a seat dude. What happened?” Zen put an arm around Beckett’s waist to guide him to a booth.

 

“N-no, I can’t. Sit. Atticus. We have to go!” Beckett grabbed Zen’s free arm and pulled him towards the door.

 

“Beckett what the fuck is going on? Why aren’t you wearing shirt and why does Atticus even matter right now?” Zen’s voice was rising slightly.

 

“Zen please, I-I found Atticus in an alley. He’s hurt, h-he wasn’t moving. I can’t c-carry him on my own. Pease, we have to go!” Beckett felt tears sting the corners of his eyes.

 

“What? Are you serious? Ok, fuck, ok, where?” Zen mumbled, running his hand through his messy hair.

 

“Down the street. I don’t know exactly where. Not too far. But we have to go, now!” Beckett begged, pulling harder on Zen’s arm.

 

“You’re not going anywhere.”

 

Beckett snapped his head back towards Zen.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“I can find him on my own. You’re already soaked and shaking, and the snow has turned into a blizzard now.” Zen motioned to the window.

 

Beckett didn’t even bother looking at the window. “I’m going.”

 

“No. You’re not.” Zen’s eyes were hooded and Beckett could tell there was no persuading him.

 

He pushed Zen to the door. “Then fucking go! He’s down a bit and across the street, behind a trash bin!”

 

Zen nodded and pushed open the heavy metal door; the bell on top began to ring crazily from the sudden gust of wind.

 

“Go back in the lounge and put on my sweatshirt. It’s gonna be a little big for you but it’ll keep you warm.” Zen instructed.

 

Beckett nodded, and with that the other boy disappeared down the street.

 

***

 

No more than five minutes later and Beckett could hear the bell of the front door and the frantic stomping of Zen’s heavy boots.

 

“Oh thank god, is he ok?” Beckett asked nervously as he sprinted from the kitchen to the lobby.

 

“Do I look like a fucking doctor to you Beck? I don’t know!” Zen snapped, still holding Atticus in his arms.

 

Beckett paused and examined the boy, his curls were stuck to his forehead and his lips were nearly blue. His body seemed so small and frail, very much unlike his usual towering figure.

 

“I mean, he’s like, breathing…right?” Beckett could feel his heart pumping.

 

Zen bent his head down and lifted Atticus closer to him, placing his ear just over his mouth, listening closely.

 

His face went pale.

 

“I-I don’t hear anything.”

 

Beckett swallowed the tears he didn’t know he was holding and ran behind the counter. His hands shook as fumbled to pick up the business phone, and just as he was about to dial the last ‘1’, a cough startled him.

 

“Oh fuck, Beck! He’s waking up!”

 

Beckett nearly tripped as he sped around the corner of the counter and over to Zen’s side. The phone still gripped tightly in his hand.

 

“What should I do with him? I don’t want him to be weirded out that I’m just holding him like a baby.” The worry was clear in Zen’s voice and if the situation weren’t so literally life or death, Beckett would have laughed at his sudden shyness.

 

“Put him down on one of the couches in the lounge. I’m pretty sure there’s still a blanket back there from Lucas’s naps.”

 

Zen nodded and hurried to the back.

 

He carefully laid Atticus down on his side, and Beckett went to search for the blanket.

 

But as Atticus made contact with the couch, he winced and spiraled into a coughing fit.

 

Beckett appeared from the other room with the blanket and looked from where Atticus was pretty much dying, to Zen’s pale face.

 

“What did you do in the ten seconds I was gone?” Beckett yelled.

 

Zen snarled, “Nothing! I just laid him down and he freaked out!”

 

Just then, Atticus sat up on his own and let out another loud cough into his hand. Zen and Beckett both fell silent.

 

When the coughing finally subsided, Atticus lifted his head and leaned against the back of the sofa.

 

Beckett’s breath caught in his throat as he watched blood trickle down Atticus’s chin and hand.

 

“Oh my god.” Zen mumbled, his eyes darting all over Atticus.

 

Beckett glanced at Zen’s stiff figure and took a step forward towards the couch.

 

“Atticus? It’s me, Beckett. Are you…ok?”

 

Atticus opened his eyes and his head lulled forward, falling between his knees.

 

“Fuck no. He’s not ok. Beckett, call 911 now.”

 

Beckett’s lip trembled and he stuttered, his eyes burning.

 

“I-I-“

 

“Beckett, do it now!” Zen’s voiced boomed throughout the lonesome coffee shop.

 

“Wait! I’m fine!”

 

Atticus lifted his head back up and began rubbing his temple.

 

“Please, I’m sorry, I-“

 

Zen cut him off, “Beckett, call. Now.”

 

“Beckett! Hey there hot shot!” Atticus smiled and Beckett turned his head away, the blood smeared on his teeth made him sick.

 

“Beckett, if you don’t call right now, I’ll rip that phone away from you.”

 

“He said he’s fine!” Beckett interjected.

 

They both turned their heads to Atticus, who was wrapping himself tighter in Lucas’s blanket.

 

Zen pointed over to him, “You really think he looks ‘ok’? He just coughed up blood, and a lot of it. He was unconscious a minute ago! And you think he’s just magically ‘ok’?”

 

Zen shook his head, “Give me the phone Beck.”

 

Atticus trembled, “Please, I’m fine, really. I’m sorry I startled you, and I’m sorry I bothered you. I can just leave and head home, I’ll be ok now.”

 

Zen laughed dryly.

 

“You were passed out behind a dumpster, on the verge of severe hypothermia, and now you’re coughing up blood and can barely even think straight. And you think I’m going to believe you’re ok and just send you home?”

 

Atticus attempted to stand to prove his point further, but his body was still too weak and he stumbled back onto the couch.

 

“See, that’s exactly what I mean! Beckett, give me the damn phone!”

 

Zen lunged for Beckett’s hand but the other boy was too quick, switching it to the other before he could make it.

 

“Instead of calling an ambulance, why don’t we just take him ourselves? It’ll save a business questioning, and we won’t have to pay the extra couple hundred for a 15-minute drive.”

 

“Or you could just take me home? I’m completely fine, I promise.” Atticus pleaded. “I have a moderately severe sinus infection; I get really dizzy and pass out when I walk long distances and I have a lot of built up flem, hence the blood fountain.”

 

Zen raised an eyebrow.

 

“If you take me home I could just get some rest and be completely fine by tomorrow, swear.”

 

Beckett placed the phone on the table in front of Atticus.

 

“I walked here, so it’s up to Zen to drive you.”

 

Atticus frowned slightly and looked up at Beckett with the purest puppy-dog eyes he’s ever seen.

 

Zen threw his hands up in the air.

 

“Fine! I’ll take you home! Do you live by yourself?”

 

Atticus beamed and then shook his head, “No, I live with my friend Nathan, but he’s out with friends tonight and tomorrow.”

 

Zen brought one hand up to run through his hair, “So you are alone.”

 

Atticus shrugged, “Just for tonight.”

 

“I don’t want you to be alone tonight...” Zen said flatly.

 

“Oh?” Was all Atticus said, placing his elbows up on the table.

 

“But I’m busy tonight…so…”

 

Zen glanced over at Beckett, who was now dressed fully with his jacket overtop Zen’s sweatshirt, gloves, and a beanie.

 

Beckett noticed he was being stared down and pulled out an earbud. “What?”

 

“Do you have plans tonight?”

 

Beckett let out a laugh, “Asking me out on a date Zen? You of all people should know that sleeping with your fellow employees is not proper work etiquette.”

 

Zen rolled his eyes, “I didn’t mean me jackass.”

 

He nodded his head towards Atticus, who now had one hand resting on his chest and the other gripping the table.

 

“Oh. Wait what?”

 

“His roommate is gone for the night and I don’t want him to be alone in his condition- will you stay with him?” Zen asked, desperately.

 

“Stay with him? Zen, we don’t even know how old he is. What if he’s 17. Am I just supposed to go to jail then?” Beckett asked with annoyance.

 

“I’m 18” Atticus groaned, not lifting his head from off the table.

 

Beckett pointed at the back of Atticus’s head and shook his own, dramatically mouthing ‘no’.

 

“Atticus we’ll be right back.” Zen cooed as he harshly pulled Beckett into the lobby.

 

“What’s your problem!” Zen hissed.

 

Beckett shook his head and his face twisted in confusion. “What’s _my_ problem? You have to be joking.”

 

“Atticus is not ok, like in the slightest Beckett; he needs someone to stay with him tonight to make sure he-“

 

“Then why don’t you do it Mr. Hero! You stay with him! You already have some weird fascination with him anyway. It’ll be a budding romance.” Beckett crossed his arms over his chest.

 

Zen clenched his fists by his sides and raised his voice.

 

“Beckett stop acting like a fucking child. It’s about time you took some responsibility and actually cared about someone other than yourself for once in your life. Get your head out of fucking la-la land and do this for Atticus, for me.”

 

Beckett’s mouth stiffened.

 

“What gives you the right to talk to me like that? What the fuck gives you the right to pretend that now you’re some kind of selfless god. Saving one random person from some snow doesn’t erase all the fucked up things you’ve done Zen. Overdosing with a bunch of losers at a frat party, getting thrown in jail for physically assaulting an innocent guy just because you thought he looked at you funny, date raping young girls on campus for fun- do all of those things vanish if you pretend to care about the well-being of this kid, Zen?”

 

Beckett didn’t realize how intense the argument had become until he saw Zen’s entire body visibly tense. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again.

 

Beckett shook his head. “He’s 18 Zen. Don’t you see why that’s just wrong?”

 

Zen narrowed his eyes but said nothing. He shoved past Beckett and stomped back into the lounge.

 

Beckett tilted his head back and let out a groan, then turned to follow Zen.

 

“Come on Atticus, I’m gonna take you home. Beckett is busy tonight.”

 

Zen bent to help lift Atticus off the couch. He wrapped one arm around his waist and placed the other on his chest, careful to avoid the blood stains.

 

“Actually, let me go grab my things real quick, I’ll just be a second.”

 

Zen carefully removed his arm from behind Atticus and rushed out to the lobby.

 

"Your friend seems intimidating."

 

Beckett turned to where Atticus was leaning against the wall and scoffed.

 

"Zen is _not_ my friend, and he's not intimidating, he's just an asshole."

 

Beckett couldn't say he was surprised that Zen put Atticus a little on edge, with the fake persona he hides behind he could seem a bit menacing. His body was practically covered in tattoos; he knew for sure both of his arms had sleeves, and some kind of symbol peeked out from the collar of his shirt, plus the few scattered on his chest and lower stomach. On top of that, he sported a silver eyebrow piercing on his right side, and had a trail of piercings up his left ear. He consistently dyed his hair black, even though it was naturally very dark anyway, due to his middle eastern ethnicity. Just another piece of the persona Beckett noticed, along with his clothes, which were usually the typical "bad boy" style, leather jacket and all. Beckett felt himself roll his eyes without even trying.

 

Atticus remained quiet, until a few moments passed and he changed the subject, “So, big plans tonight?”

 

“Uh, yeah, pretty busy right now.” Beckett rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually, no. I don’t have any plans.”

 

Atticus nodded. “I get it.”

 

Beckett bit his lip. “It’s not you personally, it’s just-“

 

“You’d feel weird staying with me because I’m 18. I get it.”

 

Beckett nodded. One of the things he hates more than anything is awkward tension.

 

“How old are you?”

 

“Twenty-one”, Beckett answered quickly.

 

“Really? Wow, yeah. I can see why you wouldn’t want to stay with a loser like me.” Atticus laughed.

 

Beckett laughed in return, “Oh yeah, can’t have those freshmen getting my reputation down ya know.”

 

Atticus rolled his eyes, “Of course you’d be one of those types. Are you still in school?”

 

“Nope, finished early.”

 

Atticus nodded in approval. “Oh cool. So you must be super smart then?”

 

Beckett furrowed his brows, “I don’t know if I’d say that. I just work a lot. I never liked the academic part of school. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. So when I found out about the option to graduate early…”

 

“You nearly jizzed your pants.” Atticus finished.

 

Beckett let out a loud giggle, “Exactly what I was gonna say.”

 

“Ok, I got everything.” Zen said as he walked back in the lounge. “Sorry to keep you waiting Atticus.”

 

Atticus waved away at Zen. “No worries. Beck and I were just catching up.”

 

Zen turned to Beckett and back at Atticus. “Oh.”

 

“Yeah, he’s all yours now though.”

 

Atticus smiled slightly at Beckett as he watched him turn around and head for the door.

 

“Talk to you later Atticus.” He paused and decided whether to continue. “Fuck off Zen.”

 

Beckett waved over his shoulder and Atticus giggled, but they both waved goodbyes in return.

 

For some reason a smile wouldn’t budge from Beckett’s face the whole walk home.


	4. *Later the 7th to early Sunday, January 8th*

Beckett rolled to his side and let out a loud groan, echoing throughout his lonesome apartment.

 

“It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen his dumbass and he doesn’t even shoot me a text to ask how my Christmas was? What a fucking twat.” Beckett mumbled to himself as he clicked his phone to life.

 

11:23 pm.

 

He let out an even louder groan than before and flipped over to his stomach, burying his face into his pillow.

 

“Fuck this.”

 

Beckett threw over his covers and hopped up out of bed, nearly slipping on the wood floor but catching himself on his nightstand.

 

After searching blindly in the dark for a solid five minutes, he finally found his gray joggers on slipped them on over his boxers.

 

He let out a loud yawn and grabbed the top of his doorframe, stretching out and cracking his back before trudging to his kitchen.

 

The light of his fridge made him squint as he pulled it open, and he quickly reached in and grabbed the Pizza Hut box.

 

“Guess I have no one to impress anyways.” Beckett shrugged and hopped up to sit on his counter.

 

He scarfed down pieces of pepperoni pizza until he began to gag, which is his body’s way of begging him to stop eating before he puts himself into a depression food coma.

 

Beckett plopped down his half-eaten crust back into the box and made his way towards the living room.

 

“Ah yes, nighttime television. The absolute peak of the TV industry.” He said, rolling his eyes and flopping himself down on the couch.

 

Without realizing it, Beckett had fallen asleep. He was awoken by his phone blaring Jon Bellion in the other room.

 

“Mmm, what the fuck?” He mumbled to himself as he rubbed his eyes.

 

Forgetting that he was on the couch and not in his bed, Beckett attempted to roll over but was greeted with a foot-high fall onto the floor instead.

 

“Son of a bitch.” He grumbled as he rubbed the back of his now aching head.

 

The sound came again and Beckett pulled himself to a stance, forcing himself to pretend to care about who was texting him.

 

He checked the time before the opening the message.

 

1:05 am.

 

Beckett rubbed his free hand over his face and sighed, then began scanning through his endless notifications.

 

“Liam’s cooing over his girlfriend, as always. Lucas is watching Kardashian re-runs alone, Ginny is neglecting my friendship for her stupid crush, _Brian_ ", Beckett made a gagging sound and rolled his eyes, but proceeded to like their selfie anyway, "Sam is probably out ghost hunting, Hope and Dylan are at a frat party…” His voice trailed off as he moved from searching Twitter and Snapchat to his text messages.

 

‘Two new messages: Atticus Swan’

 

Beckett re-read the alert over and over at least a hundred times. It didn’t make any sense…

 

Atticus: ‘ _Hey Beckett, it’s Atticus. Sorry to bother u, just wanted to say thanks again for helping me earlier. Zen told me in the car that you were the one who found me behind the dumpster and told Zen to help. Thank u man for looking out for me.’_

Atticus: _‘Oh, and I put my number in your phone while I was fixing it the other day. Thought it’d be convenient to have since u tend to break stuff a lot, as Zen said. I’ll let u go though, have a good night!’_

 

Beckett’s eyes were so wide he had to blink a few times after he finished reading so they didn’t dry out.

 

_‘Hey Atticus. No worries dude…’_

 

_‘Hey Atticus. No worries bro…’_

 

_‘Hey Atticus. No worries partner…’_

 

Beckett cringed at himself and bit his lip, unsure what to say.

 

Beckett: _‘Hey Atticus. No worries, ur no bother, im just glad ur ok! U really scared me earlier with the whole almost dying thing. Try not to do that again?_

He held his breath and waited for Atticus’s reply.

 

A few seconds later and his phone went off again.

 

Atticus: ‘ _I’ll try my best ;)’_

Beckett nearly choked at the winking face.

 

Another text came through.

 

Atticus: ‘ _I’m not surprised u answered right away, I kinda figured u were a night owl.’_

Beckett typed his response quickly.

 

Beckett: ‘ _You know me so well. Never picked u for one though. U seem like the kid that goes to bed early and wakes up at 5 to have a run.’_

Atticus: _‘Clearly u don’t know me. It’s 5:30.’_

Beckett: _‘Omg shut up. U have to be joking.’_

Atticus: _‘Lol, not joking. Only once a week though. Thursdays.’_

Atticus: _‘U should join me some time! Maybe I can turn u into an early bird?’_

Beckett laughed.

 

Beckett: _‘Hahahaha my friend Liam has been trying for years mate. I don’t think it’ll be happening anytime soon.’_

Atticus: _‘We’ll see. Come over to my dorm.’_

Beckett scoffed and raised an eyebrow. Going to a dorm? Going to see Atticus? Going to see Atticus _at_ a dorm? At 1:30 in the morning?

 

Beckett: _‘Lol, isn’t it a little early to run? Could be a little dangerous ya know, considering all I do is break stuff.’_

Atticus: ‘ _I’ll text u the address let me look it up real quick. I’m on the 11 th floor room 110.’_

Beckett let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and pondered how to respond nicely.

 

Beckett: _‘Nothing against u, but the last place I wanna go right now is a college campus.’_

Atticus didn’t respond. Beckett quickly typed another message.

 

Beckett: ‘ _I’d say u could come to mine, but it’s not really safe to be walking around at night…’_

Atticus: _‘There’s a bus?’_

Beckett weighed out the situation. He’s 21, just turned actually, and Atticus is 18. But who knows when he turned 18, it could have been last week, then that’s like, borderline pedophilia…right? Beckett threw his phone onto the chair in the corner and rubbed his hands over his face.

 

After a few more minutes of contemplating he texted Atticus back.

 

Beckett: ‘ _When’s ur birthday?’_

Beckett bit his lip in worry.

 

Atticus: _‘February 5 th, why?’_

Beckett kicked up his legs and fist pumped the air multiple times.

 

Beckett: _‘Just wondering. It’s coming up, anything special planned?’_

Beckett: _‘Also my address is 256 Brooklyn Avn.’_

Beckett could feel his cheeks flush. _Was he actually inviting some stranger into his house? Why? What’s so special about Atticus? This is weird, he should just say never mind….the kid’s only 18._

Beckett: _‘Actually Atticus, I’m just gonna go to bed. I’m wore out from’_

He paused and tried to come up with a believable excuse. _From working out? That’s good enough right?_

Atticus responded quickly.

 

Atticus: _‘Ur lucky I didn’t leave the building yet Becky. I’ll txt u another time.’_

Atticus: _‘But don’t think this gets you out of that run!!’_

Beckett let out a sigh and chuckled, relieved that Atticus wasn’t upset.

 

He checked the time on his phone once more, 2:13, before switching off his light and fumbling into bed.


	5. Monday, January 9th

“Beckett, I swear to god, if you grab the wheel one more time I am going to break your arm off and make you eat it.”

 

Liam was slightly more on edge than usual as they pulled into the mall parking lot.

 

“Oh come on mate, cheer up, we’re buying your girlfriend lingerie!” Beckett exclaimed.

 

Liam shot him a glare and his cheeks flushed, embarrassed that Beckett was being so open about it.

 

“Oh what, you’re feeling awkward talking about it with me? Your _best friend?_ How are you even gonna be able to walk in the lingerie section without wetting your pants, if you can’t even admit that’s what you came here for, to _me_?” Beckett scoffed and unbuckled his seat belt.

 

“Look”, Liam put the car in park and unbuckled himself as well, “I know I said that’s what I wanted to get, but I don’t think-“

 

“Liam Michael Smith, you are seriously not going to pussy out right now are you?” Beckett reached into his sweatshirt pocket and pulled out his half-empty pack of cigarettes. “Cara is incredibly sexy, and you’re…not ugly…”

 

Liam rolled his eyes and opened his door to step out of the car.

 

“Hey I’m just kidding!” Beckett mumbled, cigarette between his lips as he followed after Liam.

 

“Yeah whatever”, Liam shivered. “Just hurry up so we can go inside, it’s fucking freezing out here.”

 

Beckett pulled out his lighter and flicked it on, bringing it close to his mouth and shielding the flame with his hand.

 

Liam shook his head and dug his hands into the pockets of his jacket, “I can’t believe you still have that habit after all these years.”

 

Beckett shrugged and moved the cigarette from his lips, tilting his head back and blowing out the smoke.

 

“I’ve never known any different.”

 

“Don’t you ever wanna…you know…stop?”

 

Beckett admired the way Liam was digging the toe of his shoe at a slab of ice on the concrete; avoiding any possible eye contact.

 

“I don’t know.” Beckett finally responded. “It doesn’t really bother me.”

 

Liam nodded and continued kicking the ice.

 

“Does it bother you?” Beckett asked, genuinely curious.

 

Liam stopped his movements and stood straight to look at Beckett.

 

“Yes.”

 

Beckett was slightly taken aback by Liam’s quick and straight answer, but he nodded in return.

 

“Fair enough.” He responded, dropping the butt of the cigarette onto the ground and squashing It beneath his shoe.

 

“Let’s go find you some lingerie lover boy.”

 

Liam grimaced and trudged behind Beckett towards the entrance.

 

When Beckett noticed the heavy footsteps trailing behind him, he glanced over his shoulder and groaned.

 

“Liam enough, come here.”

 

He reached out and grabbed Liam’s wrist, pulling the larger boy firmly into his side.

 

“We’re gonna go inside this mall, find some…” Beckett paused, pondering the best choice of words, “underwear, for Cara, and have a good ass time, yeah?”

 

Liam smiled and pinched Beckett’s cheek with his free hand.

 

“You’re such a good friend Becky, you know that?”

 

Beckett scrunched up his nose and did his best fake smile, lips pursed together.

 

“Anything for you lima bean.”

***

“What do you think about this one?”

 

Beckett held up a black lace bra with a small, pink bow in the middle, the only thing holding the two breast pieces together.

 

Liam shook his head, “No, definitely not.”

 

The two boys were digging through the sale table in the back of Victoria’s Secret; Beckett was bent down aimlessly opening and sifting through drawers, and Liam was tearing apart the top.

 

“What do these numbers mean on the inside of it, on the tag?” Beckett asked, holding up a large, pink bra with purple polka-dots.

 

“I think it means the length around their waist, like, they take a tape measurer and wrap it around their boobs and see how big they are?”

 

Beckett furrowed his brows, “So this one? Right size or...?”

 

Liam took the bra from Beckett’s hand and examined it.

 

“Beckett, this wouldn’t even fit someone 300 pounds.” He threw the bra back at the other boy, hitting him in the face.

 

“Well gee, sorry I don’t have the same experience with women’s breasts that you do Liam.” Beckett grunted, shoving the bra back into an open drawer.

 

Just then a woman appeared behind Liam. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he jumped, dropping the pink thong he was holding.

 

“Oh I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t mean to scare you!”

 

Liam quickly bent down and snatched the underwear off the floor, his face beat red as he turned to face the woman.

 

“Uh, it’s ok, I was just, you took me off guard, is all…” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck and laughing slightly.

 

“Well”, the women smiled, “I was just coming over to see if you two needed any help finding anything.”

 

Beckett stood up from where he was knelt under the display and moved to stand next to Liam.

 

“Actually, your help would be great. My friend here”, Beckett clapped a hand on Liam’s chest, “He really wants to buy some lingerie for his girlfriend for valentine’s day, but he doesn’t know what size she is or really what to do at all.”

 

The woman continued to smile but transitioned her glance from Beckett back to Liam.

 

“Do you have a picture of her? That could help me get a better idea of what we’re working with.”

 

“Oh yeah, of course.” Liam fumbled into the right pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone.

 

“Now what kind of pictures are we talking about? Cause I promise he has all kinds.” Beckett joked.

 

The woman furrowed her brows and shook her head, “Oh no, any picture will do, one maybe in a swim suit, if you have one.”

 

Liam growled at his smirking friend, but handed the phone to the woman to show her the picture.

 

“Wow”, the employee shook her head, “She is gorgeous, you’re a lucky man.”

 

“Thank you, I know.” Liam beamed.

 

“Looking at this picture I’d say she’s about a 32C, which means you’re looking in the wrong sizes.” The woman pointed across the store to another table marked with a pink striped “SALE” sign. “Have a look over there and if you still don’t find what you’re looking for come back and let me know, just ask for Ashley.”

 

Liam took the phone from her outreached hand and slid it back into his pocket.

 

“Thank you so much Ashley, we would have been so lost without you.” Liam smiled.

 

As she walked away the two boys made their way across the store, admiring the mannequins draped in expensive dresses and slips.

 

“Holy shit, I feel like we just walked into the sex cave.” Beckett muttered, raising an eyebrow as he glanced around the room.

 

Liam sighed, “I don’t think we’re gonna find anything here.”

 

Beckett gasped and Liam rolled his eyes, turning around towards him. “Beckett don’t be so dramatic, we can go to another st-“

 

Liam froze. Hanging on the wall above Beckett’s head was a mannequin wearing a matching bra and underwear set, both made of black lace, with a black lace cincher around its stomach. The cincher had two slits just before the corset-like tie in the middle. A long cover up made of white lace was worn open on top, and the bottoms of the sleeves had black feathers around the wrists.

 

“Holy fuck.” Liam muttered breathily.

 

Beckett turned around, eyes wide. “Dude, you _have_ to get that. That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

Liam nodded and stepped forward, brushing past Beckett to reach up for the price tag.

 

His head fell and his arm dropped to his side. “75 dollars.”

 

Beckett winced and bit his lip.

 

“Ok but, 75 for the whole set right? That’s like, way more worth it if you consider what you’re getting in the end.”

 

He moved to Liam’s side and pulled down one of the sets.

 

“They even have it in her size, you have to get it.”

 

Liam sighed and brought his hand up to feel the lace between his fingers, gazing longingly and dragging his tongue across his bottom lip.

 

“Ok ew, you’re really starting to weird me out and you clearly have a boner so let’s just buy it before you jizz your pants in the middle of Victoria’s Secret.”

 

Beckett pulled the fabric out of Liam’s hand and rushed towards the cash register.

 

Liam glanced down and his eyes widened. He covered himself with both hands and hurried after Beckett to the front.

 

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Liam sighed as he pushed his card into the chip reader.

 

Beckett smiled, “You’ll believe it later tonight my friend.”

 

The cashier snorted and Liam pushed Beckett away by the head.

 

***

“I’m guessing probably white? Isn’t that the normal color for a wedding?”

 

Beckett nodded as he scooped the last bit of penne rosa from his bowl and into his mouth.

 

“Yeah but”, he paused to swallow, “Isn’t her favorite color pink? You don’t think she’d want like, accent flowers or something.”

 

Liam wiped his mouth with his napkin and dropped it into his own empty bowl.

 

“True, I don’t know, do people do colors at weddings? I thought everything was white.”

 

Beckett shook his head, “No, there’s always accent colors. Usually it’s like black or blue or pink.”

 

Liam shrugged, “Oh, well I don’t know what she would want I guess. We haven’t really talked about it much.”

 

Beckett raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t you say you were looking at engagement rings?”

 

“I said looking”, Liam warned, “Not anything serious.”

 

Beckett rolled his eyes, “You guys have been dating since your sophomore year of high school, right? That’s…”

 

He paused to quickly do the math in his head.

 

“How old are you as a sophomore, that’s like 15 right?”

 

“Yes, Beckett”, Liam sighed.

 

“Hey, your school is all fucked up over here ok it’s not my fault.” Beckett snapped, holding up his fingers he was counting on.

 

“Seven years”, Liam blurted, “We’ve been dating seven years.”

 

Beckett slammed his fist on the table, “Asshole, I was just about to say that!”

 

The two women in the booth across from them jumped and quickly glanced over to where Beckett and Liam were sitting.

 

“So sorry”, Beckett scrambled to apologize, “he’s just being really selfish right now…boyfriends you know.” He playfully rolled his eyes at the women.

 

One woman giggled and the other let out a sigh in agreeance, “Just wait till he becomes husband honey, then it’s even worse.”

 

Liam’s face grew red and he quickly leaned over to interject, hoping to protect his fragile heterosexuality, but Beckett cupped a hand over his mouth.

 

“Speaking of marriage”, Beckett continued, “We’ve been dating for seven years, since our sophomore year of high school, and we’ve both graduated uni now. Do you think it’s too soon to propose? We’ve never broken up or had any issues with cheating, Liam here just thinks we’re too young. But I’m twenty-one and he’s twenty-two, and we’ve been living together for two years. Doesn’t the time seem right?”

 

Liam ripped Beckett’s hand away from his face and turned to face the women.

 

“Beckett thinks this whole thing is about how long we’ve been dating, and it’s not. A lot can happen in seven years, and a lot has happened. But I still think I should wait to propose. Like he said, I’m only twenty-two, and who knows what could happen even within the next month let alone the next few years. I love my girlfr-“, Beckett whipped his head to Liam’s direction and shot him a glare, “boyfriend, I love my boyfriend. And I do see myself getting married to her…him! I do see myself getting married to _him_ , and I want that more than anything.” He paused for a second and looked down at his folded hands. “I love him so much, and I don’t ever want to lose him.”

 

A sniffle could be heard above them and Liam looked up. Their waitress had her hand over her mouth and the corners of her eyes were wet. She quickly padded at them with the sleeve of her shirt and smiled.

 

“I’m sorry, that was just, beautiful.”

 

Liam cleared his throat and Beckett was trying so hard to stifle his laugh with his hand.

 

“Oh, uh, thank you, thanks.”

 

After the waiter had cleared their table and left the check, the woman who warned Beckett about marriage spoke up.

 

“Beckett, is that your name hon?”

 

Beckett pursed his lips to hide his smile and nodded, turning back to face their booth.

 

“I think it’s clear that this boy here loves you a lot, and you’re very lucky for that. He just needs the time to be right to propose, it’ll happen eventually. Especially with a pretty face like yours, who would ever wanna leave that.”

 

When she finished with a smile, Beckett stood up and crossed over to their booth. He leaned down, thanked her for her kind words, and gave her a tight hug. When he pulled away, the woman pinched his cheeks and laughed, but then left her hand resting on the side of his face; she seemed to melt when their eyes met.

 

“My, my”, she sighed, her eyes darting around Beckett’s face, “why do the pretty ones always have to be gay.”

 

Beckett busted out laughing and had to turn away to prevent spit from landing on her face.

 

“Alright well, thank you for the therapy session”, Liam mumbled uncomfortably, “but we’re going to have to take off now.”

 

He grabbed Beckett’s coat from his side of the booth and beckoned for him to take it.

 

“How gentlemanly”, the quieter woman spoke up as she rested a hand over her heart.

 

Liam put on his best fake smile for the woman, and then gave the still giggling Beckett a hefty shove towards the exit.

 

“Bloody hell Liam”, Beckett giggled as he tried to catch his balance.

 

“Come on, _honey_ , take my hand.” Liam said through a gritted smile.

 

Beckett giddily obliged, and was then promptly dragged like a doll out of the restaurant and to Liam’s car.

 

As Beckett held his stomach in pain and continued his laughing fit, Liam unlocked his door and plopped into the driver’s seat, slamming his door.

 

Beckett jumped at Liam’s anger and quickly pulled out a cigarette, then made his way to the passenger side to knock on the window.

 

Liam shook his head and pointed at the cigarette Beckett was preparing to light.

 

Beckett rolled his eyes, but finished it quickly and then jumped inside the warm car.

 

He rubbed his hands together and then extended them towards the vents, “Whew, that was fun eh?”

 

Liam was silent for a second, as if contemplating his next move, then forcefully punched Beckett in the arm.

 

“What the fuck!”, Beckett yelped, “Ow Liam are you serious?!” He rubbed the now tender spot near his shoulder.

 

“That’s for making all those people think I’m gay, and with you!”

 

Beckett’s mouth dropped in offense, “No way you’re serious.”

 

“And as if you’d be the better boyfriend”, Liam continued angrily, “You’d be a terrible boyfriend!”

 

Beckett rolled his eyes, “Oh yeah cause you’re just gay prince charming aren’t you Liam. Come to sweep any bear off their feet.”

 

“Bear?” Liam started his car and turned to look over his shoulder, “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“It means you’d take it up the ass Liam.” Beckett spat.

 

Liam gave a disgusted look and switched from reverse to drive, “No way. I’d be ‘the top’…or whatever it’s called in gay sex, for sure.”

 

Beckett let out a loud chuckle and shook his head, “Oh Liam, so innocent, you’d totally love getting your cheeks spread and just taking it right-“

 

“Beckett ew stop what the fuck!” Liam shook his head furiously and punched Beckett again, harder this time.

 

Beckett bit his lip to hide the pain of being punched again in the same spot, and played it off, “Oo yeah daddy, hit me again.”

 

Liam pretended to gag, “Oh my god, never moan around me ever again I almost just had to pull over and throw up.”

 

Beckett laughed and started again, louder this time.

 

Liam slammed the power button on the radio and turned it up enough to drown out Beckett’s crude noises.

 

After a second he turned it back down but left his hand on the dial, “Wait, so you calling me daddy, doesn’t that make _me_ the top and _you_ the bottom.”

 

Beckett paused, and when he opened his mouth to speak Liam turned the radio back up, beaming at the street in front of him and completely ignoring Beckett’s flailing protests.

 

***

“Go on ahead, I’ll meet you inside!”

 

Liam nodded and continued through the main door of their flat building.

As Beckett reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes, he noticed it was worryingly light.

 

Last one.

 

He pulled it out slowly and rolled it around in his hand, trying to decide when to use it.

 

As he was about to reach for his lighter, his phone began to ring.

 

“Well, there’s the sign.” He mumbled to himself as he slid the cigarette back into the pack.

 

He pulled out his phone and was surprised by the caller ID, but quickly slid to answer anyway.

 

“Hey mum!”

 

“Aye love! Sorry if you’re busy, just wanted to check in and see how your New Years was since I haven’t talked to ye in a minute.”

 

Beckett smiled at the sound of his mother’s thick accent, “It was good, spent it with Liam and Cara and that.”

 

His mother laughed, “No party for ye this year? Wow hon, comin’ into ye twenties hard eh?”

 

“I didn’t say there wasn’t a party mum”, Beckett chuckled, “I just said I was with friends.”

 

He could tell his mother was rolling her eyes through the phone, “Oy Beckett, always causing trouble aren’t ye?”

 

“Always mum.”

 

***

Beckett’s smile failed to fade for the rest of the phone call. He missed his mom more than anything, but he was glad he made the choice to go to college in the United States instead of staying in England like the rest of his friends from home. It even led to him making some of his best friends, and deciding to stay for a few years after he graduated.

 

“Well, Liam’s waiting for me inside mum, I should probably get going.”

 

“Beckett, you weren’t outside smoking were ye? Don’t lie to me, I’ll know.”

 

“No mum, I was walking from Liam’s car and then you called, so I figured I’d let him go in catch up with Cara and I’d just stay out here.”

 

“That best be the truth Beckett Mathews. I don’t want ye smoking anymore, yeah? Do ye hear me?”

 

“Yes mum, I hear you.”

 

“I know ye hear me Beckett, you’re not deaf. But do ye understand?” She paused and let out a sigh, “I can’t lose ye Beckett, you’re my baby and I need ye with me.”

 

“Mum, I’m not going anywhere, I’m fine, yeah?”

 

His mother sniffed, “Just promise me you’ll stop Beckett. I can’t have ye…your father…I-.”

 

“Mum! Where’s Olive? Go calm down, talk to her, and get this idea out of your head. Nothing is going to happen to me, I’m fine, alright?”

 

“Alright”, She sniffed again, “I’ve gone and made a bloody mess of myself now, look what ye did.”

 

Beckett laughed. “I love you mum, tell Olive and Danny I say hello.”

 

“Love you too Beckett, call sometime soon. Bye love.”

 

“Bye mum.”

 

***

“Man, took you long enough!”

 

Liam stood up from where he was sitting on the couch and made his way to the kitchen.

 

Beckett shrugged off his coat and hung it on one of the hooks by the door.

 

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that, I was on the phone with me mum and she wanted to bring up bloody everythin’ we haven’t talked about since Christmas.”

 

Cara looked up from the vegetables she was cutting and raised an eyebrow; Liam scoffed as he leaned against the counter.

 

“Yeah, I can definitely tell. Your accent got heavy again, _mate_.”

 

“Hm, too heavy for a right wanker like you innit Liam?” Beckett replied as he made his way towards the kitchen as well, ruffling Liam’s hair when he passed.

 

“At least we have the same gestures!” Liam exclaimed, holding up a middle finger.

 

Cara went back to cutting the asparagus and smiled, “I think the accent is sexy Beckett, it suits you.”

 

Liam’s smirk fell and he slowly lowered his hand to his side, thinking about the fact that his girlfriend just called his best friend sexy.

 

“Thanks love.” Beckett replied, moving to Cara’s side. He gave Liam a quick smirk before leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

 

Liam instantly got up from the counter and made a beeline for Beckett. “Alright gay boy that’s enough, back up, hands off the hips!”

 

Beckett held up his hands in defense and backed away, raising his eyebrows flirtatiously.

 

“You’re grounded”, Liam barked, moving behind Cara and wrapping his arms around her stomach, “go sit on the couch until dinner is ready.”

 

Beckett pouted, “Cara, you’re gonna let him punish me?!”

 

“You heard him Beck.” She shrugged and smiled, leaning back into Liam’s hold, “What daddy says goes.”

 

Beckett’s mouth fell open, and he quickly cupped a hand over it to hold in his laughter.

 

Liam’s eyes grew wide at first, but they turned to slits when he saw Beckett’s reaction.

 

“Daddy says go set the table Beck, mommy and I have some business to take care of before dinner.”

 

“Gross, you made it weird Liam. It was funny, and then you fucked it up.” Beckett shook his head and walked to the living room, disgust clear on his face.

 

“Watch your language mister!” Liam scolded.

 

Beckett continued his walk to the couch and held up a middle finger.

 

Liam rested his head on Cara’s shoulder and sighed, “What are we gonna do with him?”

 

She giggled and leaned to kiss his head, “You know he gets it from you.”

 

“Absolute mess that boy.”


	6. Tuesday, January 10th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Beckett describes a story involving rape with some specific details in this chapter!! It comes up towards the end!

“I bet I could fit this entire thing up my ass.”

 

Liam ripped the banana from Beckett’s hand and pushed him away from the produce section.

 

“Can you not be an idiot for like, five seconds? Seriously.” Liam huffed.

 

Beckett crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, “Grocery shopping with you isn’t as fun as it is with Dylan.”

 

“I’ll remember that next time I’m looking for someone to come with me then”, Liam retorted as he pulled a box of crackers off the shelf, “Less annoyance for me.”

 

The friends continued to bicker with each other as they turned into the next aisle, but Beckett froze in his tracks when he saw who was at the other end.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD.”

 

Liam gagged as Beckett pulled him back by his hood. “What the hell dude!?”

 

Beckett put his hands on their cart and whipped it back around in the opposite direction.

 

He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned into Liam, “Don’t look now, but I’m 99% sure Chad Himely is down there looking at the cereal.”

 

Not even a second after Beckett had finished talking, Liam whipped his head around and gasped.

 

“Oh. My. God! I don’t care.”

 

He took the cart back from Beckett and turned it around, heading straight toward Chad.

 

“Liam, wait!” Beckett screeched between gritted teeth.

 

He jumped in front of the cart and held his arms out.

 

“Maybe you don’t recall exactly _why_ that would be a big deal”, he continued, “So can I please refresh your memory before you just peruse down there and make me lose my entire life?”

 

Liam rolled his eyes but agreed, leaning forward onto the cart and motioning with his hand for Beckett to start.

 

“So you remember how sophomore year I was kind of in a-“

 

“Slut phase.” Liam finished, a blank stare across his face.

 

Beckett nodded and gave a fake smile, “Yeah, thanks dickhead. No, I was going to say experimental.”

 

Liam raised an eyebrow.

 

“Ok fine, whatever, a slut phase.” Beckett sighed.

 

“Anyway”, he continued, “So you remember how I told you that started? With the football player cornering me in the locker room after my dance class?”

 

Liam nodded.

 

“Well, ta fucking da. I give you, closeted football fag, Chad Himely.”

 

Beckett nodded his head toward the 6’3, blonde, Abercrombie and Fitch model wannabe, and Liam’s mouth dropped.

 

“You never told me it was Chad! What the hell Beckett?!”

 

“Oh, and what was I supposed to say exactly Liam? Hey mate, sorry I’m late, your friend Chad and I were just giving the locker room shower drain some fucking kids.”

 

Liam let out a loud laugh and everyone in the aisle turned towards him, including Chad.

 

Beckett’s eyes grew wide and Liam clapped a hand over his mouth.

 

“Smith? No way man!”

 

Chad’s voice was a blaring alarm in Beckett’s ears and his whole body flushed red as he heard his footsteps approaching.

 

“Shit, shit, shit! What do I do?”

 

“Just go around to a different aisle, it’s fine”, Liam murmured through a tight smile.

 

Beckett made a dash from in front of the cart to the canned food aisle five rows down.

 

He leaned back against the shelves and closed his eyes to calm himself down.

 

“Beckett?”

 

The voice startled him and he clumsily knocked a can of soup off the shelf.

 

“Atticus? Uh, hey.” Beckett replied as he quickly reached down to grab the can.

 

“You on the run or something?” Atticus chuckled.

 

Beckett laughed hesitantly in return, “Yeah, uh, something like that.”

 

Just then, a blonde boy came bounding around the corner. Beckett turned away quickly and pretended to be very interested in the selection of spaghetti-o’s.

 

“They didn’t have any of the salt and vinegar flavor left, so I just grabbed the sea-salt kind and figured maybe we could just dribble some vinegar on top, right?”

 

When Atticus didn’t respond the boy lowered his voice to a whisper, “Why are you so close to this guy?”

 

“Nathan, this is Beckett. Beckett- “, Atticus put a hand on Beckett’s shoulder to turn him around, “-this is my roommate, Nathan.”

 

The blonde boy, Nathan, smiled and reached out his hand for Beckett to shake, “Oh! You’re the one who works in the coffee shop! Nice to meet you!”

 

Beckett shook his hand and nodded, still taken off guard that he even ran into Atticus here in the first place.

 

“So”, Atticus stepped in, “Just grocery shopping today?”

 

Beckett nodded, “Yeah, not for me though, I’m here with a friend.”

 

Atticus nodded as well, “Ah, gotcha. Liam?”

 

“Yeah”, Beckett rolled his eyes, “He can’t go anywhere alone. He has these issues where-“

 

He paused and furrowed his brow, “Wait, how do you know Liam?”

 

Atticus brought his bottom lip between his teeth and sucked in a breath.

 

“You see, I may have read a text you got while I was working on your phone. I promise I didn’t read anything else though, just that one text.”

 

Beckett shook his head, “You know, I might have to write a letter to corporate about this.”

 

Atticus laughed, “I don’t even think we have a corporate to be honest, it might be the homeless guy who chills around back every once in a while.”

 

“Well I guess first I’m gonna need his name, and then you’re _totally_ fired.”

 

The two boys laughed together, but Beckett stopped when he saw the curious look on Nathan’s face.

 

He combed his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat. “Well, it was good to see you Atticus, and nice to meet you…Nathan?”

 

The blonde boy nodded and Beckett did the same.

 

“Good to see you too Beckett, see you later.” Atticus smiled as he waved goodbye. “Oh, and don’t think I forgot about that run!”, he warned as him and Nathan turned away.

 

“Have you seen the weather outside? It’s a blizzard!”, Beckett yelled back.

 

Atticus held up a hand as if to wave the argument away, “Excuses, excuses coffee boy! Bundle up!”

 

And with that the two disappeared around the corner, leaving Beckett alone in the aisle.

 

When Liam appeared behind him a few moments later he jumped, clutching the fabric of his sweatshirt over his heart.

 

“Bloody hell, warn a guy will ya?”

 

Liam chuckled, “Sorry, just wanted to make sure you weren’t traumatized and crying somewhere.”

 

Beckett had completely forgotten about Chad at this point. “Oh, right. Yeah I’m fine.”

 

“You sure?” Liam raised an eyebrow. “You seem a little on edge.”

 

Beckett shrugged and took the cart from Liam, “Never better!”, but he paused after a few steps. “By the way, any idea where I could find running attire?”

 

“Running attire? You mean like, shoes and stuff?” Liam scoffed.

 

Beckett rolled his eyes and murmured a quiet, “Jackass”, under his breath, before pushing the cart away toward the men’s section.

 

***

“There!” Beckett sighed after he laid out the last piece of his outfit on his bed.

 

Black, “winterproof” compression tights, new black and white running shoes, a dark blue, long sleeve running top, a black windbreaker, black gloves, and a dark blue hat. All Adidas of course.

 

He opened the camera on his phone and stepped back to take a picture, then sent it to Atticus.

 

A few moments later he got a text.

 

_“You didn’t buy all of that just for this run did you?”_

Not the response he was expecting. He wrote back quickly.

 

_“No, I was just proving to u that I am actually ready 4 this run.”_

_“You’re a bad liar even over text, cute.”_

_“Bad liar? U barely even know me. I’m a great liar. I could have been lying to u this whole time and u would never know.”_

_“I can see the tags on the gloves and the tights.”_

Beckett cursed to himself and quickly ripped off every tag from the clothes.

 

_“Whatevr. Doesn’t matter. I was gonna buy them anyway, it wasn’t for u.”_

_“K”_

That last message stung, and Beckett wondered if he went too far.

 

Moments later another text came through.

 

_“Do you have work today or tomorrow?”_

Beckett smiled slightly.

 

_“Today no tmrw yes”_

_“How about tonight? You free?”_

His smile grew a little more and he bit his lip. What the hell was this boy doing to him?

 

_“Sure. But I thought you only ran on Thursdays?”_

_“I can make an exception. Meet me at my dorm at 8:00, I’ll show you my usual course.”_

_“K”_

Beckett’s heart began to race and he felt himself heat up. Why was this such a big deal? It’s literally just a run.

 

He fell back onto his bed and felt himself melt into the sheets. Eight o’clock couldn’t come soon enough.

 

***

Looking up at the dorm building gave Beckett an extreme amount of stress he wasn’t expecting.

 

“ _Are u gonna come out or what? Its fucking freezing out here.”_

No response.

Beckett groaned and shoved his phone into his coat pocket.

 

As he made his way to the front door, he noticed a student coming out.

 

“Are you going in?” The girl asked, propping the door open with her foot.

 

“Yes, cheers love.” Beckett replied as he made his way inside, stomping his shoes on the mat.

 

The girl smiled, but had a look of curiosity on her face, “London?”

 

Beckett looked up and scoffed, “Manny aren’t cha?”

 

“Born and raised” She beamed and took her foot away from the door.

 

“Bloody northerners”, Beckett rolled his eyes and wiped some snow off his jacket.

 

The girl shifted her weight from one foot to the other and tugged on her bookbag straps.

 

“Nice jumper.”

 

“Innit? Bough it earlier. TopShop.”

 

She smiled again and reached out her hand.

 

“Carey.”

 

Beckett reached out and shook it firmly.

 

“Beckett. Charmed.”

 

When they finished, Carey snapped her gum and pulled her hat on tighter.

 

“Right, well, see ya Beckett.”

 

Beckett nodded, and Carey headed outside.

 

When she was no longer in sight, Beckett turned himself around and headed down the main hallway.

 

The walls seemed to be designed and carved by hand, and piano music could be heard echoing off the polished wood floor.

 

A few minutes later and Beckett finally reached the elevator. He nervously pressed the button for the 11th floor and felt his breath catch in his throat when the doors closed. When they opened again he was amazed with the beauty of the hallways. It seemed endless, but he kept his eyes open for room 110. People were scattered throughout, sitting in the lounges, watching tv, playing games, reading. Everyone looked so young. This was definitely a freshman dorm. Beckett felt terribly out of place.

 

Just as he was about to turn and make a run for it, he noticed he reached his destination. A bronze plaque hung on the door.

 

_Room 110_

_Atticus Swan_

_Nathan Greene_

Beckett brushed his fingers across the engraving and sighed, then knocked twice.

 

As he waited impatiently for Atticus to come save him, he looked over and noticed a boy staring at him down the hallway. He was shirtless and eating a bowl of cereal. Beckett did his best fake smile but clearly the boy didn’t buy it; he simply brought another spoonful of captain crunch to his mouth. Beckett prayed harder for the door to open.

 

When it finally did Beckett almost gasped, but he swallowed it before it could escape.

 

Atticus was shirtless as well, but had on some loose, gray sweats instead of basketball shorts like the other boy was sporting.

 

His hair was a mess; he looked like he had just woken up from a nap. The way he scratched his stomach and licked his lips led Beckett to believe he probably did.

 

“Were you asleep?” Was all Beckett managed to get out.

 

Atticus yawned and nodded, “Yeah, I was.” He stretched and turned to crack his back. “I get super tired sometimes I just have to lay down.”

 

Beckett nodded and pursed his lips, trying his best not to admire Atticus’s crazy fit body, which was hard considering his v-line was _clearly_ showing where his waistband dipped slightly.

 

“Sorry, come on in though.” Atticus finally said, opening his door more and beckoning for Beckett to enter.

 

The room wasn’t what Beckett was expecting, well, not really. It was dark except for a few strings of Christmas lights and a broken lamp in the corner. There were two of everything, two small beds, two desks, and two closets, each with a dresser built in. It was easy to tell whose side was whose.

 

“Sorry about the mess”, Atticus mumbled as he kicked a pair of boxers to the other side of the room.

 

Beckett shrugged and continued to look around, “No worries.”

 

Atticus’s bed was made, which meant he really did just fall asleep suddenly like he said. His comforter was a hombre of light gray to dark, and he had an abundance of accent pillows to match. Except, they didn’t actually match at all. One was black and covered in constellations, another was red with “Star Wars” written in thick black letters, one was just white marble, and another was dark blue with the outline of a deer in white.  The bed was pushed tightly against the wall, which was also decorated in a miss match fashion. A large American flag hung vertically from the top; it looked like it had seen better days. Next to it was an array of polaroid pictures, each one identically spaced apart. Atticus was only in a few, and was kissing a girl in one of them. A few more pictures were spread around the wall, along with some band posters and a map of the world with push pins scattered across it. Generally, a typical boy’s bedroom.

 

One thing that did stick out to Beckett however, was the painting of Martin Luther King Jr. that laid on an easel in a corner of the room.

 

He walked over to it to get a closer look.

 

“My friend Kendall painted that for me.” Atticus boasted.

 

Beckett let out a puff off air and nodded, “It’s really, really good.”

 

“Yeah, she’s the best.”

 

Beckett glanced over and noticed the other boy was beaming. He chuckled, “She your girlfriend?”

 

Atticus’s smile faltered slightly and he paused, as if he was thinking how to respond. “Not anymore.”

 

Beckett suddenly felt worse inside the room; he wished he was back outside with shirtless captain crunch.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

 

Atticus shook his head, “Nah don’t worry about it, I broke up with her. We’re still good friends.”

 

Beckett felt slightly better.

 

“Oh…why him?”

 

Atticus smiled again, “Kendall asked me what I wanted for my birthday last year, and I told her world peace. She laughed but she knew I was serious. A week later, on my birthday, she dropped this at my front door. He’s an inspiration of mine.”

 

When Beckett fully turned to look at the other boy, he could have been blinded by the sparkling grin on his face.

 

“That’s…sweet.”

 

“I know most people don’t get it, which is fine, it’s not for everyone, but fighting for what’s right is everything to me.” Atticus moved to the dresser and picked up a picture frame, then came back and handed it to Beckett. “That’s my mom and my dad, and my siblings.”

 

Beckett looked over to Atticus curiously, then back at the picture, then back to him. “You’re mixed?”

 

“No, I’m not. That’s not my birth dad. He’s my stepdad, technically, but I would never call him that, or introduce him that way. And those are his kids he had with his ex-wife.”

 

He pointed to a tall, athletic built boy and a beautiful, beaming girl; both of them were black.

 

“That’s my brother Laverne, and that’s my sister Tanisha. Laverne is 19 and Tanisha is 22.”

 

Beckett admired how happy and close their family seemed.

 

“Who’s that?” He pointed to a girl tucked closely into Atticus’s side.

 

“That’s my sister Katniss, she’s 14. We have the same mom and dad.”

 

“I can tell, she looks a lot like you.”

 

She did. She had the same face structure and most of the same features. They both had their mother’s emerald green eyes and brown curly hair, but Atticus must’ve gotten his father’s nose and smile.

 

“Yeah”, Atticus blinked a few times, “we get that a lot.”

 

It was quiet for a few moments after that, before Beckett spoke again.

 

“Is she good with a bow?”

 

Atticus rolled his eyes and snatched the picture back.

 

“She could kick your ass.”

 

Beckett laughed and rolled his eyes, “A year nine kicking my ass? Right.”

 

Atticus placed the frame back on his dresser and moved to sit at his desk.

 

“She’s not nine, she’s fourteen.”

 

Beckett made a mental note to himself to lay off the ‘British terms’.

 

“Obviously she’s fourteen…” He sighed, trying to fit the pieces together in his head to describe what he meant. “In the UK, kids her age are in year nine in school. It just means how long you’ve been studying for.”

 

Atticus tilted his head and brought his legs up to sit more comfortably in his chair.

 

“Wait so you’re like, actually from England?”

 

Beckett scoffed, “Where did you think I was from? Washington?”

 

“I mean I don’t know, maybe your mom and dad were from England and you moved here when you were a baby or something.”

 

“Oh, no, I came here when I was eighteen for University. My secondary school, er…‘high school’, had a transfer program that helped students who were interested in studying in the US, find a school. My mum was pretty against it at first, but I told her I was going whether I had her permission or not, and she knew I was serious, so she eventually helped me decide on the University of Washington and just let me go.”

 

“Wow”, Atticus had his hands folded behind his head, buried into his curls, and was leaning back against his desk. “Are you gonna go back?”

 

Beckett shrugged, “I don’t know.”

 

With the way Atticus responded, he could tell what he said sounded harsh.

 

“It’s not that I don’t miss being home, ‘cause I do. But, I really like it here, and I think I wanna stay. I don’t know if for forever, but at least for now. And my mum understands that. It’s just her and my sister at home since my dad left, well, and our dog, but they’re fine without me. My sister is almost old enough to go out on her own anyways, so an empty house is inevitable.”

 

The room was quiet for a minute before Atticus spoke up.

 

“What kind of dog do you have?”

 

Beckett furrowed his brow and stifled a laugh, “Out of everything I just told you, you wanna know about my dog?”

 

Atticus’s eyes traced the Nike logo on his sweatpants in a loop, “Yeah. I like dogs.”

 

“He’s a Portuguese Water Dog. His name’s Danny.” Beckett was suspicious of Atticus’s sudden shyness, but he didn’t push him.

 

“I bet he’s super cute.” Atticus smiled again and Beckett felt better.

 

“He is, but he’s kind of a shithead.”

 

The boys’ laughs echoed throughout the room and Beckett felt warm, and he liked it.

 

“Holy shit it’s already 9:00”, Atticus mumbled as he glanced at his phone.

 

Beckett was sitting on the bed now; it felt soft underneath his fingers.

 

“So much for that run, huh?”

 

Atticus placed his phone back on the desk and let his head fall between his legs. He quickly moved both of his hands to his forehead and began to massage.

 

“Whoa, you ok?” Beckett inched off the bed a bit.

 

Atticus didn’t lift his head.

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m cool. Just a headache. I get them a lot.”

 

Beckett wasn’t convinced. He felt pity as he watched the other boy’s face twist in pain.

 

“Do you have any medicine? Like, an Advil or Ibuprofen?”

 

Atticus’s right leg began to bump up and down, “It’s ok, really, it’ll go away in a second.”

 

Beckett held up his hands and scooted himself back against the wall, “Suit yourself.”

 

After a few minutes, Atticus finally sat back up.

 

“So, I hate to pull back on my word, but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do that run tonight.”

 

Beckett crossed his arms, “Figures you’d make me come _all_ the way here, just to send me home without a trophy.”

 

Atticus smiled, “We’ll try another day.”

 

As Beckett stood up from the bed, Atticus jumped up as well. He took a step closer to Beckett.

 

“I mean- you don’t have to leave.”

 

Beckett looked down and noticed Atticus had ahold of his sleeve.

 

When he glanced back up, their eyes met. He felt his heart beating through his shirt; he was afraid Atticus could hear it too.

 

The other boy’s hand fell back to his side, and his gaze moved to a stain on the ground.

 

“Or you can go. I know it’s late and you have to work tomorrow and you probably-“

 

Beckett cut him off with a hand on his shoulder.

 

“It’s fine Atticus, I can stay.”

 

The relief seeping from Atticus’s smile was almost comical as he lifted his head again.

 

“You sure?”

 

Beckett plopped himself back down on Atticus’s bed and shrugged off his jacket, leaving him just in his compression shirt.

 

“Yep, I’m sure.”

 

He noticed Atticus’s glance was lingering longer than normal, but he pretended not to. After untying his shoes, he kicked them off and moved them to poke out from under the bed.

 

Atticus looked amused and raised an eyebrow, “Comfy?”

 

Beckett had sprawled himself out on the bed, hands folded on his chest, staring at the ceiling.

 

“Good enough”, he shrugged.

 

He turned over to his side and propped his head up with his hand, “Where’s Nathan?”

 

Atticus glanced to the other half of the room, then back at Beckett. “Probably at the Delta Gamma house.”

 

“Really?”

 

Beckett realized after he said it how genuinely surprised he sounded. Atticus made a face.

 

“Yeah really”, Atticus laughed, “Why the hell do you sound so shocked?”

 

Beckett dug his tongue into his cheek, “To be honest, I thought you two were total nerds.”

 

Atticus’s mouth fell open; he looked offended. “Wow, seriously?”

 

Beckett sat up fully. “I mean yeah, you work at a fucking tech repair place.”

 

“So?” Atticus shook his head, “Are you saying I can’t be smart and fuck sorority girls?”

 

Beckett felt like he was kicked in the stomach.

 

When he realized it had been a moment and the room was still quiet, he picked himself back up.

 

“Yes, that’s literally what I’m saying. Guys who join fraternities are ego-centric cunts who lead their life with their less-than-average sized dick. They would fuck a brick wall if it had a hole.”

 

Atticus’s toothy smile came out again, and this time his eyes matched. He let out a loud laugh and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Wow, I don’t know if I should feel flattered or attacked.”

 

Beckett kept his face harsh, “Flattered, because you’re not in one, and you won’t ever join one.”

 

The smile on Atticus’s face morphed into a smirk.

 

“And what if I was?”

 

“Then I wouldn’t be in this room.” Beckett stated matter-of-factly.

 

“Well, Nathan is. Is that gonna make you leave?” Atticus crossed his arms.

 

“He is?” Beckett fell onto his back and groaned. “Fuck your stupid American schools.”

 

Atticus rolled his eyes. “Did you like, get kicked out of a frat or something? Why are you so opposed?”

 

Beckett considered how to answer for a moment.

 

“Technically I was never in a frat, but I would go to them all the time my freshman year. You know Zen?”

 

Atticus nodded.

 

“I met him at a party and we really hit it off. We got soooo fucked up, it was insane. And then we kept going out together, and we got closer. And you know frat guys can’t go to other frat’s parties, so we always stayed at his frat’s house. He introduced me to everyone there and they all seemed like cool lads, at first. I kind of got addicted to partying, and it felt shitty. I used to party a lot back home too, but not four days in a row like here. I just always felt so sluggish, but I kept going anyway.  It felt like I had to if I wanted to keep being friends with Zen, which I did at the time.”

 

At some point in the conversation, Atticus had grabbed two water bottles and moved to sit on the bed next to Beckett.

 

“So freshman year is kind of a blur. Shitty grades, a shitty attitude, and some shitty friends. Fast forward to sophomore year, Zen and I are still ‘best friends’, and we were always together. Me, him, and our friends Brian, Davian and Alyssa were like, inseparable. They were all in the same frat, and Alyssa was Brian’s girlfriend, so we always partied together too. But I’ll never forget one night, it was Halloween weekend, the whole frat culture made me fucking sick and I wanted nothing to do with it. Zen’s friend Casey was working the bar that night, and Zen was super enthusiastic to be serving drinks. He walked around with a bottle and made sure every girl’s cup was full at all times. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, because they do that a lot, but then I noticed girls falling on the ground and passing out. And there was always a guy there to help. He’d help her stand up and ask if she’s ok, and then walk her up the stairs to the main floor to ‘get some water’. And this was happening a lot. I went to find Zen to confront him about it, mind you I’m drunk, and he was _gone_. I mean like, wasted gone. But it was so normal for him that he was totally cool, his eyes were bloodshot but he could hold a conversation, which is when you know you’re a hopeless alcoholic.”

 

Beckett noticed he was getting flustered just telling the story, so he took a breath and turned to face Atticus.

 

“Not saying this is something Nathan would do, I don’t know him obviously, so don’t get offended.”

 

Atticus sat cross-legged facing Beckett and nodded.

 

“So, when I asked him about it, he just brushed it off and said they were drunk. I told him no, that’s way past drunk, there’s something more serious going on, but he wouldn’t listen. And then I noticed the bottle he was holding was almost gone, and I asked him if I could have the rest. He yanked it out of my reach so fast; it seemed like he sobered up instantly. When he said no I asked him why, and he said it’s girls only. Well, drunk me said ‘fuck that’ and grabbed it anyway. Before I could even drink it though he pushed me and it spilt all over my shirt, and when I tell you it smelt awful, it smelt _awful_. That’s when I knew it wasn’t just alcohol. I instantly pictured all the girls he was dancing with, he’d hand them the bottle and they’d just pop it back like it was water, and then a few minutes later she’d be gone and he’d be with someone else.”

 

Atticus’s voice was angry when he spoke, “Do you think they were drugged?”

 

Beckett laughed dryly and shook his head, “Oh just wait. I then realized that I hadn’t seen Alyssa in a while…”

 

Atticus looked up from where he was picking at his sock, eyes wide, “No…”

 

“Yeah. So I asked Zen if he’d seen her, I like screamed at him, and he said she left with Brian. And honestly, one of the most fucked up things about this whole situation is the fact that Zen and Alyssa were genuinely friends, we all hung out outside of the parties, like during the week. We’d go eat or go study together, or just sit in my dorm and talk.”

 

Beckett took a breath.

 

“Anyway, when he told me that I obviously called bullshit, so I pushed past him to go upstairs. I remember him grabbing onto my shirt and trying to pull me back, but I was so pissed and scared that I pulled even harder and got away. And then, not even joking, I heard a whistle, turned around, and there was some guy fucking bounding towards me. I scrambled up the stairs, still drunk as fuck, and sprinted to the entryway where the stairs to the 2nd floor were. The party was in the basement obviously so ya know, the cops wouldn’t see or hear anything. So I run up those stairs and then you get to this long hallway with rooms all the way down on both sides. I’d been up there before during the day to hang out with Zen, Brian and Devian you know, but it looked so much creepier at night. I kept opening doors and checking for people but most of them were empty. I did open one where a girl was giving a guy a blowjob, but they were both still clothed and she looked sober so I just closed that shit right back up. The farther down the hallway I got I heard noises, guys’ voices, and girls’. I literally prayed with every fiber of my body that I wasn’t about to open up to some weird shit that was gonna scar me for life. But I did. The sounds were fucking coming from Zen’s room, and I don’t know what gave me the courage to do it, but I slammed the door open.”

 

When Beckett tensed he could feel Atticus did too. He reached a hand over and placed it on Atticus’s knee.

 

“Sorry, I won’t like, trigger punch you or anything.”

 

Atticus gave a small smile, but Beckett could tell he was still nervous.

 

“If you don’t want to tell me it’s ok, if it’s too hard…I get it.”

 

Beckett shook his head and closed his eyes, “No, it’s fine. It just makes me want to commit murder, but it’ll pass.”

 

When Atticus didn’t respond, Beckett opened one eye to look at him.

 

“I’m joking curly, relax.”

 

He felt him relax under his palm and he bit back a smile.

 

“Ok, so you opened the door and…” Atticus ushered on.

 

Beckett tried his best to ignore the warmth in his stomach from Atticus not making him move his hand.

 

“I opened the door and laying on Zen’s bed was Alyssa, naked. There were two guys I didn’t know standing in front of the bed, and one was on the side. The one on the side had his phone out, I’m guessing filming, and he was still dressed. The other two though, one was only wearing boxers, and they were pulled down, and the other was completely exposed. The one in his boxers was groping her, and the other guy, I was pretty sure he just finished considering the stain on the bed…”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Oh my god!” Atticus’s voice rose with every word.

 

“And Alyssa wasn’t moving, her eyes were half shut and her mouth was open. She had hickeys all over her neck and chest, and she was red in the face. I just remember wanting to throw up and cry at the same time. I couldn’t believe what I saw, I wanted it to just be my fucked up drunk imagination, but when I felt someone grab the back of my neck, I knew It wasn’t. It was the guy who chased me up the stairs, and he was pissed. He told me I wasn’t allowed upstairs and like, threw me down. When he kicked me in the stomach I really thought it was over, I was gonna throw up and black out right there. But then I heard Zen’s voice telling him to stop and I was pulled up. He got close and asked me if I was ok, and all I wanted to do was kill him. But I figured grabbing Alyssa now and beating the fuck out of Zen another day would be better. So I tried to step towards his door but he pulled it closed, which is when I knew just how fucked up he really was. He knew what was happening in there, in his own bedroom, he _knew_ Alyssa was getting raped, he knew everything! And he closed the fucking door. I swear Atticus when he did that, I literally felt my body burst into flames. I fucking punched him over and over and over. I wanted to beat the absolute shit out of him. The guy who chased me up the stairs was gone, and it was just me and Zen in the hallway. He kept trying to push me off but I wouldn’t stop. I remember screaming at him that he was a worthless piece of shit, I remember wanting him to die. But I eventually stopped, and pushed myself back into the room. I went straight for Alyssa and tried to wake her up, but she wouldn’t. I was pissed at Brian too because he was nowhere to be found, and they never leave each other. Brian’s a good guy, sure he’s a frat boy prick, but he’s still a good guy, especially to Alyssa. So this happening to Alyssa really made no sense to me. And as I was trying to wake her up, another guy came in, this kid name Payton. He’s another good guy who really shouldn’t even be a part of the frat scene. I screamed at him to go get Brian and the other boys in the room ran out fast as fuck. Fucking cowards.”

 

“Holy shit. Did Brian know what was happening?”

 

“No, when they came back Brian looked like he was going to literally explode. I’ve never seen someone so hurt and fucking angry at the same time. Obviously when you enter that situation your mind is so fucked up that you can’t think straight, so he went straight for me. I explained everything to him as best I could in my shit-faced condition, and he started to cry. Like, he really cried. He wrapped up Alyssa in Zen’s blanket, I grabbed her clothes, and us two and Payton went down to Brian’s room. He keeps his door locked during parties to keep out unwanted guests, so he had to fumble around with his key. He sat her up on his bed but she fell over, and he started to cry again. It was seriously one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. He told me to sit with her and wake her up, and then he and Payton left. I could hear him and Zen grunting in the hallway, and then storming down the stairs. I tried to grab my phone to google what to do about Alyssa, but it wasn’t in any of my pockets. I was literally so scared, for Alyssa’s health and of Brian if I couldn’t wake her up. I don’t know how I came up with this while I was wasted, but I thought maybe if she threw up, it would flush out of her system, whatever she was drugged with. So me being the petrified idiot I was, I carried Alyssa down the hall to the bathroom and positioned her over the toilet. And obviously she couldn’t do anything, so I…ya know…yeah…I made her throw up.”

 

When Beckett glanced over to Atticus, he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. His face was drained of color and his eyes were wet.

 

“When she did finally throw up, I held her hair up and hugged the fuck out of her. I asked if she wanted some water but she didn’t answer obviously, she just kept puking. I figured some body movement was better than none. But she was still naked at this point, and the bathroom was disgusting, so I grabbed a bucket under the sink and walked with her back to Brian’s room. She was still super groggy, and I really thought we should have called an ambulance or the police by then, but I didn’t have my phone and I didn’t want to leave her. I felt bad about her being naked, but I didn’t want any of this guy’s DNA to rub off in case the police did get involved, so I just gave her a blanket. After a while of just lying next to her, I noticed the house had gotten quiet. Eventually, Brian came back with a kid named Jacob. I told them we should call the police, but Jacob said it wasn’t a good idea. He said the frat would be shut down, I would get in trouble too for underage drinking, and I could be sent back to England. I told him I didn’t give a fuck, and that Alyssa deserves justice. So Brian called 911 and said his girlfriend was possibly date-raped, and then the ambulance came and him and I went with. I had to tell the police everything that happened from start to finish, everything with Zen, the other girls, the guy filming, everything. I also confessed to being drunk somewhere in there, but somehow managed without a fine. So, end of the day, Alyssa was drugged with Rohypnol and was raped by two guys, they got kicked out of school and arrested, but of course got bailed out, and the entire frat was put on probation for hazing.”

 

“What happened to Zen?”

 

Beckett shrugged, “He was charged with a couple things, but generally nothing. He got to keep living his shitty life. I cut off all contact with him, everything. Same with Davian, not really by choice though, he was good friends with Zen too, and he chose his side, so he left. Which was fine with me, I just stayed close with Brian and Alyssa.”

 

“And now you work together?”

 

Atticus jumped when Beckett threw his arms in the air.

 

“Yes!! Isn’t that fucked up?! This shit all came full circle when he walked into the shop for his first day. And I tried to beg my boss to fire him but she wouldn’t, she said he deserved a second chance. Not him, not from me. I stayed an asshole to that fucking prick, there was nothing he could say or do to change that.”

 

“I can’t even look at him the same way”, Atticus wiped his eyes, “That’s fucked up, beyond belief.”

 

Just then the door swung open, and Nathan came bouncing inside like a puppy. He threw his coat towards his bed but missed, and it fell to a heap on the floor.

 

“Sorry I forgot to text you dude, Lilly and I finally got to-“

 

His jaw tightened when he turned around and saw Beckett.

 

“Oh, hey Beckett.”

 

Beckett smiled awkwardly and waved.

 

“Atticus are you crying?”

 

Nathan hurried across the room to Atticus’s side.

 

“No moron”, he scoffed, “Well, I mean yeah, but Beckett was just telling me a story. I’m fine.”

 

Beckett could feel tension between him and Nathan and he didn’t like it.

 

“Ok, well, I just had a _great_ time, so if you two could stop your girl’s night sob stories, I’d appreciate it.”

 

“You’re such a dick”, Atticus giggled.

 

“Maybe so, but I bet this dick can beat you at COD, wanna play?”

 

Atticus looked to Beckett, “Do you play?”

 

_Do I enjoy wasting my life sat in front of a tv playing pointless violence? Fuck no._

“Yeah.”

 

_What the fuck Beckett. What the fuck. It’s not even a question, it’s a statement. What the fuck._

“Cool!” Nathan smiled and grabbed two controllers, then plopped himself next to Beckett on Atticus’s bed.

 

“Since this game is only two player, we’re gonna have to take turns, you’ll play winner.”

 

Beckett nodded as if he knew exactly what Nathan was talking about, when in reality, he didn’t even know how to shoot.

 

“While you guys play I gotta make a quick phone call to Liam and let him know I’m still here, he’ll worry all night. Be right back.”

 

The two boys were unfazed as the game started.

Beckett wondered how he was going to hide the smell of smoke.

 

***

The night went on until 3 am, when Beckett finally decided to go. The three boys talked and laughed the whole time, and Beckett could tell the tension between him and Nathan was gone.

 

Atticus insisted on walking him downstairs much to Beckett’s dismay, he had to wait to smoke then.

 

“You should trick me into coming over to hangout more often”, Beckett joked as they reached the front door.

 

“You got it easy this time, next time we’re running, for real.”, Atticus assured.

 

“Whatever you say curly.”

 

Beckett felt terribly awkward after that. It went quiet and he wasn’t sure how to end it. A handshake? A hug?

 

Luckily, Atticus stepped forward and initiated it.

 

His embrace was warm and tight, and he smelt amazing, just as Beckett expected.

 

“Oh shit your jacket, here.” Atticus started to take it off, exposing his bare torso.

 

“Nah it’s ok”, Beckett shooed him with his hand, “Just keep it for now.”

 

“You sure? It’s cold as fuck outside.”

 

Both boys glanced into the snowy abyss.

 

“I’ll be fine. You’re the one who has to worry about hypothermia anyway.”

 

Atticus rolled his eyes when Beckett elbowed him.

 

“It was one time hero, give it a rest.”

 

Beckett giggled and turned to leave.

 

“Whatever, see ya Atticus.”

 

“Later Beck.”

 

Beckett sprinted to the bus stop, careful to avoid slipping on his ass in front of Atticus.

 

When he hopped on the driver gave him a look of disbelief.

 

“Where the hell is your jacket young man?!

 

Beckett smiled and nearly melted into his seat.

 

“I let someone borrow it.”

 

The woman shook her head as she closed the door. “Mm, mm, mm. You boys sure will do anything for a good night won’t you.”

 

“Yep.”


End file.
